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The Pit
Read my lips
The saint himself probably would not have guessed that February 14 would become such a commercial date, largely thanks to Hallmark Cards, alongside thousands of florists and confectioneries. Whether St. Valentine would like the idea or not, I am sure that some of us aren't going to be very happy on this very day. Who needs to be reminded all fortnight long that they were still single, despite all the efforts to find a date?
Okay, I'll do you a favor - distraction from the romantic stress (or lack thereof). Here's the News FACTorial! for the week:
- A group of space enthusiasts is planning an air trip to see the Mir come down! The retired Russian space lab will return to the earth next month and come down in flames as it descends in the atmosphere. Expedition organizer Bob Citron claimed that he has been planning this trip for 15 years, since he missed the unexpected 1979 Skylab re-entry. The trip will take around 120 researchers and paying members of the public 30,000 feet up in the skies above Tahiti.
- A University of Washington student put his soul for bidding on eBay until it was pulled back on Thursday! Adam Burtle, 20, sold his soul on the auction site and the bidding price shot all the way up to $400. In the description, Burtle wrote that he made no warranty to the soul, which was "near mint condition." Also, "due to the difficulties involved with removing my soul, the winning bidder will either have to settle for a night of yummy Thai food and cool indie flicks, or wait until my natural death." The buyer was identified as a woman from Des Moines, Iowa.
- More than 250,000 letters have passed through Loveland, Colorado, this year for a Valentine's Day postmark! This is the 55th year the small town performs the tradition of forwarding Valentines with a special postmark. The mail comes from all 50 states and some 110 foreign countries.
- A couple of strangers were handcuffed till Valentine's Day in a bid for $7,200! Listeners of GWR Radio's Late Night Love Show chose the couple who met for the first time on Friday. They were going to stay locked together in New York while ice-skating in Central Park, shopping on Fifth Avenue, and going to Broadway shows.
- Elephants are getting married in Thailand! The head of a provincial elephant club decided to wed two elephant couples on Valentine's Day, which falls during the annual mating season for the animals. Elephants were traditionally trained for logging in Thailand, but are also trained to perform entertainment shows for tourists.
Well, perhaps I am not exactly distracting you from Valentine's Day, but frankly, if you flip to the "centerfold" of this week's paper, you will realize that none of us is trying to.
Species of animals and plants are not the only thing that can become "extinct;" a lot of languages are in real threat to extinction as well. A United Nations Environment Program report released on Thursday said that 90% of all the 5000 to 7000 languages in the world will be lost forever in the next century. Bring out your calculators and do the math, and you will figure out that's more than four thousand languages! You might be thinking, "So what? Everyone should just speak English, and it wouldn't be such an issue." But, think about it: how times have we tried to impress our significant others by telling them "I love you" in a gazillion tongues? If all the languages but English are gone, we won't be able to do that anymore…
"Aaugh, that damn 'Greek cupbearer'… he just has to talk about love there, doesn't he?"
Well, what can I say? Love is in the air, except for Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, who have decided to file for divorce after 10 years of marriage. But then again, we can't exactly say we didn't see it coming. Oops, did I just say that? Maybe I should stop now. Send your kudos, comments, criticisms, et cetera, as usual to technews@wpi.edu. Have a good one, boys and girls, and don't do something tonight that you'll regret later…
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