He's just in time, too, for the annual marathon election night. That's right officers - your sentences are nearly over. In theory, anyway. Thus far, every time I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel it's been the train, but this time it might actually be freedom! Besides, it's somebody else's turn to go to jail...
Well, congratulations are finally in order, as the first successful raid was finally pulled last Friday. Who said it couldn't be done, anyway? Now you try it boys...
"... I really like your new Twister mat, Tom." Hey!!! What do you mean you don't care what I do? Then why the hell did I waste all of my money and everybody's time when you just don't care what I do??!! Are you saying that you're much happier now than you were with your old, ugly floor? My goodness, you really DON'T give a damn about me, do you? Ha ha ha...
Finally, if you or someone you know is responsible for the creation of that damn Burger King commercial with the guy who wants to eat his duct tape for lunch instead of paying 99 cents for some burger, I will personally hunt you down and kill you!!! That is all.
AGD PLEDGES: Hey Girls! Hope you all had a great week! Good luck in Ireland and congrats on being sister of the month: Mia L and Deb F! We'll miss you! Dinner with everyone was fun- great story Leslie- we missed the crew people! Good job to everyone who did the skit at the meeting. Great bonding with the sisters on Thursday! Remember girls- unity! Not bad for the first try though. Good job raiding both nights! We're getting good - very stealth and no kidnappings. The popcorn was a nice touch- good job Kathy and Becky. Remember all of your FE stuff ! Have a great week. Keep up the psyche! Adoveling!
Welcome back to school! Sorry about the lack of a column last week, but my two partners in crime (who shall remain nameless to save them from the disgrace of everyone knowing that they CANNOT use e-mail) messed up. Thanks for trying anyway, guys!
Congratulations go out to Tricia Pignone and Don Perry on their pinning on New Years! We all wish you the best, Piggie, and we all know that your relationship will continue to flourish. (Sorry for the corniness...I was possessed for a short time by Ann Landers. She was exorcised when I expelled some nasty looking pea soup.)
Happy belated birthday goes out to Shannon Bielitz! Sorry we missed you last week, Shannon! Hope it was a good one! Happy birthday goes out this week to Christine Pukay who will celebrate on the 27th.
Thanks go out to Sig Pi for the great time last week! Also, thanks to Fiji for the great social! Finally, thanks go out to our awesome new members for putting on a great function on Sunday! You guys are the greatest!
Congrats go out to the winter sports teams who continue to pounce on their opponents! Kimmy, I never pegged you for a skull and cross-bones kind of girl!
In the personals this week: Darlene, thanks for making this a politically correct sorority (you never know, I may surprise you someday!). The third floor of the house mourns the loss of their dear friend, Mr. Grow who ceased to spew out bean sprouts! Speaking of the house, V-neck....NOTHING IS BROKEN THIS WEEK!!! There is a minor problem, though. Spanky, Erika, Heather, Diane, and Julie seem to think that since their shopping cart is a formidable mode of transportation for them that they can park it in the driveway. Take care of that! I lost a hubcap on my wheel, does anyone know anything about that....MANDY!?!? Good luck to Dwalin, Becca, Sarah Tegan, and Jenn Alley who are on co-op. Now we know who we can hit up for money. People who use the bathrooms at the house....FOR GOD'S SAKE CLOSE THE SHADES! Cram, just plunge into the rotary!
Special hellos go out to Molly and Lisa from Kylie, Karen Verrill, everyone named Jen, Jennifer, or any variation of the name, and all of cabinet who is doing a great job: Becky, Cindy-welcome back, Kylie, Darlene, Shannon, Kelly, Jen Sanna, Jen Rice, and Amy G. LITP
From nature's closest friends, the Seal, Birdie, and the Raabit, this week's corner comes to u. First off, way to go Corky last Tuesday night for kickin it old school and let's see it happen again tonight! Pretty soon it seems like Duqeutte's computer will be the center for campus computing. Thanks Fitz, we're all D.A.M.N. G.L.A.D. to be here! I'm getting real tired of cleaning up the toilet paper. Now popcorn? Waz up wit dat? Just remember what comes around goes around. The Seal is lurking! Hey Brande, how've sleeping lately? This week we'd like to introduce Shaffique the Wonder Spear Chucker. Now a word from our sponsor: Here now is vice-president Mark David Suennen- Hi there folks, special t-shirts will be available for the RCB (picture of red carnation in taint, designed by Tat). Swell. Congrats to the Goon room for prompt response and maintaining good PR with certain parts of campus. Here it is, straight from the home office in Fairfield, Ohio this week's top ten list: The Top Ten reasons why not to take a date to the RCB 10. Your date won't go home with someone else. 9. That's one more red carnation left in the world. 8. Stag table rules! 7. Amy Brooks is doing it. 6. No small talk. 5. Can eat with your fingers and wipe your nose with your sleeve. 4. No rejection at the end of the night. 3. Save $25. 2. No tainted love. 1. There's a good chance of coming home with someone else's date. Until next week, and a new top ten list. Goodbye for now butt knot phorevah.