Greek Corner
AXP
Starting off... elections are over, and the new officers have been chosen. Tough luck, guys. Even though you don't take office for another month, you can collectively kiss your lives goodbye at this very moment. Arty, your life was gone weeks ago! Keep up the good work, Waylon!
Speaking of good work, the consultant's visit was a success, as everyone managed to snow him despite the recent warm front. To ensure that his visit was a safe one, we arranged to have constant monitoring of the premises by the WPI Police. Eventually, the officers had to return to the station, though, as they received a disturbance call from the basement of 35 Dean Street. Actually, they traced the call to Fleet Bank, but they just followed the muffled sounds of barn animals and car horns, and their search was over. Ken, nice homemade wool sweater...
Sale! Two hundred pounds of popcorn. Enough to go around; great for parties, food fights, and lawn decorations. Ask for one of the pledges. Kernels are free, each 33 gallon trash bag of popped corn is five dollars.
Stewart and Artie came out of "the closet" last week, as the "good 'ol boys" were two-steppin' to Freebird and taking turns spanking Stunod's monkey. The two were overheard denying allegations, exclaiming, "We've been had!" Everything fell through, however, when the room they reserved at the Marriott was already occupied by Mr. and Mrs. Benedict Andrus. A few final words for the "bone" head who allowed this to happen. Kill Pieper!!!
AGD
There are no birthdays this week! So...Happy RandomDay to Carley and Shelly! Erin gets a Hug and Monica is adorned with feathery appendages this week! Congratulations to all the new Panhellenic officers! Thank you's to Sig Ep for the social last week, and to ATO for all the little aquatic creatures. A special hello to our honorary sister Claire--who can't read this anyway, but looked so cute in those little feetsie pj's! When's that damn lingerie party?! Hey Pledges--be forewarned that stealth pin check operations are already underway! Laura, Erin, and Jenn can be ruthless (HA-a little middle name humor there, Fruity!) I know a few sisters who are awaiting M&M's (ahem, Sarah A.!). You guys are raid fanatics! I'm happy to hear we are now kidnapping ourselves rather than letting any silly fraternity boys do it! That's all for now...A DOVELING!
Hey AGD pledges! Hope you had a great week! Thanks to all of the seniors for Sunday night! We all had a great time- we love you guys! Good job girls! Congratulations to our new pledge sisters! Thanks a lot AXP for all of the popcorn. Sisters: don't forget about the big event on Tuesday night! Hope you all have fun! Thanks to Phi Sig Kap for Saturday night- great food! Thanks to Sig Ep for Tuesday. Good job on the sister-pledge raid on Thursday! Don't forget about Sunday afternoon. Have a great week! Keep up the unity and the psych! Adoveling
ATO
Gomez is in the house, if he doesn't leave at three o'clock in the morning to go to the hill and visit a certain someone. T and G, T and G, not G and G, Hoar you got problems. Ethan was actually nice to a girl for the first time this past week and he got nothing in return. When a certain question was asked by Roy, Aviv's friend this past Wednesday in the chapter room, an answer wasn't needed. All Weed had to do was raise his hand. Donnie who called? Whoever or whatever that was in the bathroom this past week, own up to your accomplishment. U the man. U the man. Me, Swifty, and Weed made some new friends this past weekend at Springfield. Swifty heed my advice: Next time you bump into someone, don't say I'm sorry, man. You should say !@#$ the dumb $#@! and destroy the belongings in a house of a girl u don't even know. Don't worry about it man, we were cool and they were dumb. (!@##$ !@#$ Pete)
LCA
The Cross and Crescent Bowl was a huge success, but I don't know won since I wrote this on Friday. Anyways congratulations to _________!! (Fill in with winning team's name.) Even though the C & C bowl was awesome there was an even better game this week- and I'm not talking about the Superbowl. The game of the weekend was the Toiletbowl. Thousands of fans turned out to watch two teams who can't even complete a pass. The game ended in a tie 0-0. Defensive battle. Pageau, why do want an All-Star game? Do you want to be the cheerleader? Too bad there wasn't as much mud this week for mudsliding. Pizza night was a great time. Sure beats pasta night with Joe's GARLIC bread. This past week we got evaluated and we did good. Pretty soon we'll be a 5. We gotta work on community service- Steve has offered his time to help cleaning up Worcester's highways. Congratulations to Myles for pinning his girlfriend and thanks to all the brothers and AM's that were there. Also, Happy 21st Birthday to Myles and Jay. Finally, the brothers and AM's would like to thank Mr. Minasian for all the support he has given in his first 2 weeks as our advisor. See you later.
Sigma Pi
It's been a very spicy term so far. At least nobody has an excuse to be bored. I'm seeing more pledges around the house too. Hopefully we can get more people involved in inter-murals instead of winning by forfeit every time. Good thing Spanky is the leader of our athletics department. Other events- Luc was lonely one night and found a use for R2. I guess Big Brad got up on the wrong side of bed and is a true red-neck.
Phippsburg had a rush event here on Tuesday I guess, it turned out great of course. Ox put Swoop to shame late night and now holds the title. Sometime during this the CD player was screwed up.
Oh yah, UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUrich, by the way, the patch for the hole in the wall is upside down. And I hope the hole in Toole's head is healed, you fell pretty hard when you tripped, any visible scars? Just another week at Sigma Pi gone by.
TKE
Here we are once again giving the Newspeak people something to fill the issue with. The countdown officially begins here, only 11 days til the RCB. Things start to wonder through the mind at this point. What should the table name be? Will the DJ (Corky) bring his son this year? Will my date know anyone else at the table? Will I get food poisoning, and what if there's a fly in my soup? Will Flobbi dawn a skirt? What will people think if I beef at the table? Will Cobra swap venom with Jess? Will Jess demand of Cobra what others recently have? Will Spam walk home this year and how far along route 9 will he get (pools will be open til the end of the week)? C.R. and the Cat, nuff said. Tonight we pit our knowledge against that of the new members in a match of jeopardy. Be prepared for Saturday night when the Dueces go wild. Strange Brew all over again, TKE style this time, however, has anyone seen Miah since Saturday?
As promised, this week here is the new TOP TEN list this week being the Top Ten reasons why to take a date to the RCB 10) You can undress your date with your eyes. 9) You can undress the other dates at your table with your eyes. 8) One less carnation left in the world. 8) Stag table rotts! 7) You won't come home with Amy. 6) I love small talk! 5) Can eat with her fingers and wipe your nose on her sleeve. 4) Better then going alone. 3) $25 well spent. 2) Tainted love rules. 1) You can swap your date off with some one else's. Well folks, time is a factor and we have to go. Bye.
Zeta Psi
Always comin back for more...Tha Pajama Jami Party was this past Saturday, James, how did it feel to be in a loin cloth all night and thank god Mika didn't come down in just boxers or I think we'd all be emotionally scarred for life...What is this crap pledges doing raids, wow they actually have like energy and stuff, it's amazing...Best idea for our next party..Let's get Duck hooked up Party...Muggy seems to be growing at an exponential rate, isn't it about time we put up the biohazard warning signs and maybe some air filters in Ted's room before he gets out of his jar...My thanks to alumni for a very exciting live in two weekends ago..Uh, no, officer, we, like, don't have any officers in charge...Seems like its just going to be another boring week...My thanks to all the brothers who decided to bust my stones last week but look who's smiling now...No news is good news...Signing Off-Jabba
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