Greek Corner

Alpha Chi Rho

Hey, postulants, you guys are getting it together... raids, chaos, projects. Thanks for saving Tori at three in the morning last week; Stewat, why the heck was she moaning anyways? Extension cords - no sir, I don't believe I like 'em. I am still not sure also whether the cooing is coming from Tom's room or the Luke's perfect family of doves. Lobster... mmmmm. Jackson went home with one after he got too "attached." Looks like it has been the longest streak without the coppers showing up at the door. Old Crow, be good.

Well, I would like to congratulate Bob for winning the WMA. This brings his grand total of awards to 758 this year. Exec. dinner will be a week from today - don't get stung. After a few, all the people will be going " doo da doo doo, do doo doo, doo" [D'oh!]. Everyone should of had a good time at the party and formal this weekend, yet I only saw one well accustomed yarcavasmorgen. If you thought this weekend was good, just wait til North Adams this Saturday. Keep your booties on, cuz it's cold outside!! Suckers.

It's about time, but the basketball team finally won a game. Ok, so was a forfeit, but we woulda won anyways. Still, Jose managed to pull a few ligaments this past weekend despite riding the pine. Happy anniversary!

Hey Swallow, when did you switch to the classy brand? And Kuiawa - there is a big difference between light and "lit", pal. Even Proulx laughed at the ground over that! Afterwards, the Sole reported five pounds of cheese stolen. Randy was found curled up on the couch with Ritz cracker crumbs all over him. Coincedence.... YES! Editors, eat your hearts out. Beware of the bagpipes...

AGD

Congratulations to the newly initiated sisters of AGD!! Time and space constraints prevent me from listing your names, but you know who you are! We're sorry we had to take the pledge pins back, but now you've got new ones to wear-so no complaining! No Birthdays this week-which reminds me-Val, you did great with the gamma and the buff heart, but you forgot MY BIRTHDAY! I am heartbroken. December 27th for all of you running to make corrections. This week-Steph gets EVERYTHING-a hug, the wings, a big ole pat on the back for all of her hard work, we love ya Steph! Also, congrats to Karen G. and Jannine for getting those pretty yellow ribbons, and to the SW's Shannon and MYSELF (luv ya Nil!), and the PW-the whole lot of you!! We'd also like to thank TKE for the Valentine and the chocolate-Wait, what chocolate? There was chocolate?!?! Tomorrow is voting-dress comfy, it's a long one...A DOVELING

Ladies Who So Recently Said "Ni", I mean, Were AGD PLEDGES--We did it! Sisters at last, No Pins! Thanks to all our sisters (Kristy S. for the T's) We love you. No candy bags...to lose. Top ten reasons why we had a great time last wk. 10- Warm fuzzies 9- living in the library 8- red train, buff bus, green trees? 7- Who's your hunk in a bunk? 6- buff is not the color of dirty snow 5- Grace in DAKA 4- love letters 3- Milli Vanilli & NKOTB 2- hot seniors & wet squirrels And #1- The AGD hotline Congrats to Jannine and Karen. A big hug goes to Erika L. Great M/D gifts, esp. edible ones! Tighty whities & trouser sock? Where are your table manners? ADOVELING

ATO

Seniors decided to resort to a cheap way to win. Rooks and Juniors still rule. Rad is in his fourtieth week of having a disability. You heal slow, dude. Karl tasted the new Libby products that came out on the market this past weekend. Weed tried the old Libby products and got sick of them. No really Dawson, its O.K. I know it hurts, but I still like you. Leo began his training for Rocky Six. Jimmy's budha, Andy's beard, and Rad's mom and/or sister. Ready set go! Peavey and Hebert, enough said. The big bang theory is in full effect. Beats, no more games dude. She doesn't play any games, she's different from the rest of them, right? I would definitely advise against doing forty splits in a single night. Think about it. U Conn here I come. (!@#$## Pete)

FIJI

Mike Banks, how about a back rub. Hey Kim I wasn't kidding during skits. Ranucci, can do my waiton, I'm too tired from ordering OB around. In case he didn't tell you Gove worked 36 hours straight. Kijak take some free throw lessons from pauly. Al can we just be friends. It's alright Pauly you don't have to do that waiton. Shanz what time am I supposed to pick up your mother on saturday night? The escort service didn't say. Simps i hope you didn't hit any cars on the way to syracuse..

Lambda Chi Alpha

This past week we had a great spring rush. Taco Bell night sure as hell beat DAKA. Too bad Dino couldn't get enough fuel to put on a light show. Thursday night's scavenger hunt was an all out battle. Leary's team is 2-0. Now Leary thinks he all big and bad. He needs a good slap. Don was going crazy in his suped up VW rabbit trying to block Andy's car. Hey guys, just between you and me, I think Tyler is transvestite in the closet. Everyone has to see the kinky photos of our LCA sweethearts. (Big J has his own personal photo.) BIG NEWS UPDATE: Packard got his first haircut since 1987. Should've gone for the military buzzcut, John. Next time we have role playing, we'll all beat up on Big Daddy instead. Thanks to PSS for the social on Saturday night. Jeevan, that was one ugly tie. Thanks to all the rushees for coming to our events. We hope all of you become part of LCA in the near future. Buh bye.

Phi Sigma Sigma

Hey Phi Sig Sigs!

First off, a HUGE congratulations goes out to Julie McCullough who was pinned on Valentine's Day to Sean O'Hearn! Congratulations you two!

I would proudly like to announce the new Executive Officers: Archon- Julie McCullough; Vice Archon- Marie Murphy; New Member Educator- Jess Cram; Bursar- Becky Kostek; New Member Recruitment- Sarah Tegan; Member at Large- Nicole Robert; Tribune- Cindy Mitchell; Scribe- Erika Simpson; Panhel Delegate- Cyndi Fusco.

Congratulations everyone! We all know that you will do a great job! Thanks go out to all of the previous officers, you guys did an excellent job and all of your hard work and dedication is greatly appreciated!

Thanks goes out to Lambda Chi for the awesome social last week! Everyone had a blast....hey, that's my tie!

Happy birthday goes out to Laura Bielitz who celebrated her 20th yesterday! Hope it was a good one, Lou!

In the personals this week: Hey neophytes....DRIVE-BY. Leah, I've never seen anyone dance with a pole as well as you do! Nan, congrats and great job at New Englands....Kim Schofield, we're proud of you for doing well at NE too! Tricia Pignone, my mom bakes me cookies, what does your mom do...pulls your hair?!? Erika, you have found your calling... you did a great job plunging the bowl at Theta Chi!

Special hellos go out to Em Peters, Heatha Bryer, Heidi Huggett, Kylie, Molly, Toni, Jackie, Jen Adams, Becky Kiluk, and Heidi White. LITP

TKE

Hey boys and girls, here we are again. Suennen just smacked his head against my desk really hard so that we would have something to write about. Noonan and Tat are here to help out this week in this great creation. GFY is making big headlines everywhere this week. O'Shea's feminine voice can be heard all over the house, and they've just signed with Electra to replace Metallica.

Last Thursday the Freshmen showed their ability to be a pain in the colon. Their ability to flip mattresses is unparalleled in TKE history, I'm still feeling dizzy. Eric Marceau was on hand to witness the conception of his nephew BIL. Does anyone know if Spam is still on co-op or not? Has Checca sobered up enough to go to work yet?

Valentine's Day saw the proliferation of many red cards, none of which were all too romantic. The rumors are true, they do come in 3's. Gillis has found the cure for bitterness, killing fictional characters with vim and vigor. Hey Slobbie, pay attention to this. You guys have the potential to be the most bitter MQP team that the school has seen. Cobra weilds the power of big house manager like a God, the goons finally have their pagan icon.

The Plague of '95 continues! TKE infects the entire campus Friday night. This leads us into this week's top ten: The top ten cures for the Black Plague. 10) Skip all classes and homework for a week 9) Post party room floor sludge 8) Sahal's nocturnal emissions 7) A1 steak sauce and jello sandwiches 6) A group bundling Pb style 5) Medicine ball of Nyquil 4) Boot and rally at 6:30 am 3) Goat's urine and bat toe nail clippings 2) Mitch's home brew 1) Death Have a good day and don't forget to keep in touch with yourself.

Theta Chi

BWGWNBGGBNWNG......(It's been so long since I've done this, that i can't even remember how it starts). Having recently recovered from a severe case of illiteracy, I have taken it upon myself to begin enlightening everyone's Tuesdays once more. The cool thing is that no matter how bad this sucks, you're still psyched just to see anything at all. Now on to the pressing news of the day: let's start at the end and work our way backwards if you don't mind *&%$#@ gniht latem gib eht niw annog er'ew yas dna ykuak eb tsuj ll'I os ,strops ni gniod er'ew woh eadi yna evah t'nod I .tnelat dna skool doog htiw denedrubrevo ylgnideecxe tey llams, srehtorb wen fo puorg ruo ot snoitaludargnoc tleftraeH .uoy rof foor eht no syek eht evael tsuj ll'eh tcaf ni secirp ffo foor eht gniwolb s'eh, srac tnuocsid s'tnopuD ot nwod emoc, melborp on ?hsac eht gnigniws emit drah a gnivah tub eborP droF a for tekram eht nI ;lacitabbas no enog sah daeh sih no sdradnats gnivil gnitaroireted eht htiw tespu, riah s'ragaH ; okuP taert ot ekil ew esuaceb su fo nuf ekam annog ruoy emit txen eht dnim ni taht peek os rehcir %753 tey looc ssel %35 era po-oc no elpoep taht swohs yduts tneceR ;(ma I rotagitsni na tahw) evren seromhpos eht elots sroinuj eht taht won dedne yllaiciffo evah sraw roolf: swen cinorom fo esod ylkeew eht nI &*%$#@ check you later.

Zeta Psi

Okay fellas, sorry about the mix up last week...This Week, it's Jail-n-Bail time, time to bring out that cash and abuse the bill of rights for a day...It was UConn Ho this past weekend as many of us made the journey to the LTI at Uconn...I think its almost time for usa to quarantine the house, you know lock the doors and have food, beer, and other things delivered as we sit around and recoup...Hey, Spackle, if you give me sixty bucks I'll give you a kiss on the cheek...Top five suggestions for a new motto 5. Nah!NNNAAAAHHHHH! 4. Are you threatening me!?! 3. Let's throw it off the roof! 2.Like Beer! and the number one suggestion 1. Don't play leapfrog with a unicorn!...Did anyone know that it's time for Spring Rush...Coming Soon-Our return to intramurals...That's all for now...Signing Off-Jabba

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