Greek Corner
Alpha Chi Rho
Congratulations to all of the Newly Initiated Brothers! Everyone seems to have fully recovered from the last hellish week. Nice Beaver... Anyway, how was North Adams-maybe it will be better next year. Jimi is still hybernating. Next year the postulants will have to make a breakfast worth waking up for. One like Tom's mega breakfast of eight pancakes, four bagels, etc. Save a sheep. club a....Yarcavasmorgen has sent us a recent update that popcorn has been recently exchanged for a large chinese dinner.
Last Friday's party went well thanks to a foster child found on the premises (did someone give him a map). The parents were reported seen in the third floor bath sampling some pudding. Floweres are still standing after the formal, unfortunately the same could not be said for many of the worn out brothers. Heat wave reported in Daytona. Bob is loaning money for those who would like to stiff him (no pun intended). Eat at Pings tonight, and when the bill comes blame it on Alex!
Welcome to another year of slavery officers. Run while you still can. Don't SNAP like all the NIBS did, and remember Luke, all rules are subject to change at random. I'd like to reflect on C term: it's over. There he eats cups at red rovers old tavern: rabid, edible, tantalizing, under rotten new socks! Could you repeat that? Have a good break. Eat my shorts, not my butterfinger.
AGD
Congratulations to the newly elected officers! President-Karen Goodell, VP Member Dev-Melissa Nappi, VP Scholarship-Monika Lehky, Treasurer-Karen Lambert, Secretary-Amy Credit, Panhel Del-Carrie Belanger, Panhel Alt-Melissa Allen, Property Manger-Katie Daly, New Member Coor-Deb Foley, Rush-Melissa Diguette, Philanthropy-Erin Brophy, Ritual-Lexie Chutoransky, Sisterhood-Jenn Kelly, Mem. Selection-Tanya Macek, Social-Nil Saltuk, Activities-Jen Sapochetti, Public Relations-Becky Hoffman, Publications-Stephanie Gagne, Personal Dev-Amy Sinyei, Alumnae Liason-Angela Wonsey, Purchasing Coor-Michele Provencher, Courtesy Notes-Anne Pareti. Thank you to all the old officers--you guys were great! (Especially that snazzy Publications Person) Congrats to all of us for receiving the Dean's Award for Outstanding Academic Achievement! Keep up the good work everyone-although some of those scarlet A's are pretty hole-y! Lori gets a BIG hug this week, and Nappi has those wings-things! (And she's NOT a flake). Thanks to Erica for organizing the ice skating and Brady Bunch trips-they were GROOVY! Yes, this is a car, but my name's not Jack!--I thought you were from Nebraska! And a special hello to the West Auburn Fire Station men-they are the BEST-what hunks! Lots of birthdays coming up--so Happy Birthday to Jen R.(today!), and the March babies- Kerry (7th), Lexie (10th), Kristin K. (12th), Leslie (14th), Mindy (15th), Suzy (18th), and Karen G. (19th)! Don't forget the Sisterhood Retreat is on Mar 18th-bring your white elephant! Good Luck on Finals-May the Power of Bic be with you-and have a great break...IN CANCUN!!...A DOVELING
ATO
One o'clock, Two o'clock, Three o'clock rock. Four o'clock, Five o'clock, Six o'clock rock. Congratulations to our new brothers. If we are not rooks and we are not juniors yet. What the hell are we? Will came up with 10 new ways to amuse himself at his security job. We've got stickers. Look at the pretty stickers. Lee has finally become immune to the entire sleeping process. It's all a big joke. Everything is funny right? Which one do you do you want, the right or the left one? The Jolly Green Giant is a sight for sore eyes. The house is up for an oscar for the great performances that occurred this past Thursday night. Kristie Yamamguchi. Swing batter, batter, batter, batter. Last article before spring break, so have a good one boys.
FIJI
Congratulations to Pete Harrod for his leading role in the movie, "Chewbacca, the Untold Love Story." Pete what were you thinking? In other news, the rampage has finally subsided with only two injured and none dead. Gove report-Last seen finishing off his 43rd beer after skipping the b-ball final to go out on a date. It's a toss up between Brian R. and Rick to see who breaks up with their girlfriend the most. Thanks to the sophomores for going to the leadership conference. We can really count on you to get something done. We all hope and pray that Primetime can recover from his leg injury so that he can grace Alumni field once again. Don't worry Pledges only two more months to go. Pauly you know Harrod is looking for a roommate. When I was a sophomore, we used to pick up the rock and play catch with it and if it dropped on someone's foot we liked it. Don't mind that I had to get my seniorism out. O'Brien another lonely weekend? I think it is time to give peaches a call. Zaza its time to get a hair cut. The Dr. J style is not in any more. Simpson and Assner are giving parking lessons to anyone interested and Shreves will gladly take your car apart for a small fee. Well gotta go, I leave you with one from the Swammi. The Swammi says" Doug Gove, Scott Ennis, and Charlton's girlfriend." Answer-"Slacker, Hacker, and the attacker."
Lambda Chi Alpha
Due to the graphic nature of last week's LCA Greek Corner, parental discretion is now advised. However, this week's version has been edited for the general good of the brotherhood by the High Beta. What you are about to read is a dramatization. All names have been changed to prevent any further embarrassment. (NOTE: Since this article was edited by the High Beta, it was also necessary for the High Alpha to spell check it.) First of all, we had a great Pre-I week thanks to the para-military leadership of Schwarzkopf (Josh). Seriously, the brothers and AM's really came together to work on our banner and on our bricks. On Thursday night, we held our brick laying ceremony. Frank's (Steve C's) brick wins first prize for creativity and potential hazard. Guys, we have to fumigate the basement. Harry (Pastore), "Get the door, it's an emergency!" Finally, this portion of the article has not been edited: We had a great spring rush! We had seven guys sign their bids. Congrats to Matt G., Tony F., Scott M., Phil C., "Byron" M., Bill L., and Eric D.!!!! It's just the beginning of a wonderful experience!
Phi Sigma Sigma
Hey Phi Sig Sigs!
In honor of my last, yes my LAST, column, I wrote a little song that goes to the tune of the Brady Bunch.
Here's the story of a sorority called Phi Sig
Who was keeping up a very pretty house.
All of them were very busy with school, Except for Molly and Karen...
who played Nintendo all day long.
Here's the story of a class of neophytes
Who was busy with some antics of their own.
They were the Tau class living all together (next year)....
It was one CRAZY house!
Till the one day when the neophytes got with the sisters
And they knew it was much more than a hunch
That this crew would somehow form an awesome sorority
That's the way we became the Phi Sig bunch!
I know, it's corny, but it was the best I could do on such short notice! Special hellos go out to Jen Alley, Liz Allenbrook, Jade, everyone named Lisa, Joh, and some girl who lives on the first floor and has to put up with me (which is enough to get you in here Slim!). LITP
SAE
Three days till Cancun. Argento, will Danielle be sitting in your lap or will she be in the seat next to you? Sure it wasn't planned. I would like to congratulate the new members of the SAE swim team. Crazy, do you think you should know your girlfriend's last name before you pin her, and I thought Trudy has your badge. Cohen, do we have to make an appointment to pond you or should we call you at Nick's. I am done writing for the week but I leave you with a top ten. Top Ten Predictions in Cancun: 10. Coux blows chow on Danielle 9. Lemur blows chow on Danielle 8. Sure we won't see Danielle the whole week 7. George finds out that the only good looking girls live at Maple 6. Ong spends more money on his phone bill than booze. That's if she lets him go. 5. Norris blows chow on Danielle. 4. Dufort hooks up. Yeah right. 3. Spam blows chow on Danielle 2. Gooner crys for six nights because life without Spence is tough. 1. Mun says "where did these extra suitcases come from?"
Have a good break and may the booze always flow. Five Apples
Sigma Pi
It's been Health Week at the Pi; the maggots are in better shape than they have ever been and they love it. Congratulations to Gestapo for keeping everyone awake; he selflessly did their sleeping for them. If you see Dutchboy, ask him about his step; he was so proud of cleaning it, he spent half the week on it. Kurt, we missed you, man, but we're glad you spent your time writing that 60 word per minute paper (or was that 60 minutes per word???) Heead became the most popular maggot overnight, thanks to Lenny (Heead, work, NOW!!!) Much thanks to Hairball, Steve Lee, and Elmer for the invigorating workouts (Steve, thanks for introducing me to Bertha - it's an experience I'll never forget), to Uncle Dano for the great stories, and to Mike Brady for showing me the correct way to throw a plate full of food 15' into a wall. This has definitely been a memorable week for everyone, especially Bruce Lee, who will never be the same since Lilah. (Of course, Lilah, won't be the same, either - she was just messing with the wrong guy.)
TKE
Here we are composing the Greek Corner for the first time ever in the TKE party room while listening to the gentle yet motivating sounds of Mozart. Crank the treble baby! Feel the bass of the cello. Congrats go to Fitz and Dawn on their recent marriage. There is a regular house meeting tonight remember, everyone should be there! The RLC was this past weekend, a sort of officer training program at our retreat in Mongolia. Spring break is almost upon us, C-term 95 is berated to a pulp, fiction that is. Casper, we have learned isn't the only friendly ghost among us phantoms of the night. Watch for small furry animals groovin together in a cave with a pict. GFY had another sellout, blowout, kick arse show at Gompeis last Friday night. Special thanks to all the penguins who stood at the door chanting "Pudding, Pudding." DAMN GLAD to see them there. So long and thanks for all the fish to Matty D, he's sold himself into slavery in San Francisco for D-term. Fitz, besides writing the Greek Corner, on occasion, on Wednesdays, after school, rules a small country in the South Pacific with an iron fist. Phil would like to have his name mentioned, but there isn't enough room. Hey everyone, don't forget that today there are two birthday boys turning 21!! Spam and Suennen are the victims, but don't forget to study boys, after all, this is exam week. Hope that everyone got a chance to say hi to Gyro while he was in jail last Wednesday. Hope you did awesome at New England's!! Birdie sucks tea bags if you didn't know. Thanks to those who helped save the Raabi from a ruthless showing attempt, and to O'Shea and Charlie Brown for that wonderful wake-up Friday. Is this the TKE house or the TKE hotel? Phil has some really cool proofs equating women and Park's truck so ask him about it when you see him. Sorry Phil, couldn't do it here. ~Chow for now~
Theta Chi
BWGWNB...Our hero climbed steadily upward, hoping with the advent of each new crest for a glimpse of his destination. Through horrors unknown, he had fought his way to this mountain thus gaining the opportunity to scale its relentless terrain. And so, well on into the darkest part of the night, Mr. Mojo continued his ascent, driven half mad by his desire to steal the mountain's treasure, coupled with the dulling effect of the potion (consumed out of convenient 12 oz. cans). Finally, as the last of his sanity faded away, he held his goal. The sun peeked over the ridge revealing an incredibly menacing and uninviting cavern, a place that only one other (Hagar the Horrible) had ever laid eyes on , and that no other had ever dared enter. Our hero hesitated for a moment as he ran his hand over his bald head and wondered whether he had lost his nerve along with his hair. But this went on for only a moment before he broke into a full sprint running head long into the gaping hole and history. Clip it, frame it, save it, because it's my last and it'll be worth zillions some day, or you can just wrap up Jacobson's eel in it before you flush (it'll be dead soon). In closing, I would like to win a million dollars and move to Australia, but in the unlikely case that this fails to occur, how about 'Check you later!!!!!'
Zeta Psi
More and more and more...We've got pledges! Congratulations to Karl, Jed, Mike, Adam, Dave, Ben, and Marc (again). Looks like we've got someone to replace Siegmund as eternal pledge boy...The Jail-N-Bail to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association was this past week, thanks go out to all the guys who put lots of time and effort into the project. Also, thanks go out to the WPI police for their support...When you hear Jail-N-Bail that also means it's time for the Escape from Alcataz party. So who was tryung to dig their way out of the basement...At this rate in a couple of years, we'll have a tent city around the house so that all the brothers have a place to live, but according to the national I think we only have about ten people...Finals, Finals, Finals...Stress, Stress, Stress...Almost time for D-term, where we seat on the roof, get spring fever, ignore classes, and drink more...Have a good break, hope everyone comes back alive...Signing Off-Jabba
Return to this week's Index
newspeak@wpi.edu