Greek Corner
Alpha Chi Rho
Spring Break came to an abrupt end. You can say the Daytona boys had a good time, but that would be an understatement. Recap: clam digging, pyramidding, cup - nappig, pooh - napping, joey-da-wopping, soaked cotton viewing, and much rapid consuming. U all come back now, ya here! Please consult video archives for further details.
Before I get off this subject, just make sure you make Stacy recall his laughing at the ground exhibition. Only Joe would have come up with that scrotum-cam. Yarcavaschmorgen returns!
I believe those broads had a case of the uglies. Stubby, even still, "jumped right in" after 'em: "Show us your... er um".
So back to Woostah we are. Eventually we had to come back. Xtra, xtra, Derek gained "brownie points" in more ways than one. Unbeknownst to him, their tricycles were stolen that night. Ahhhh, haywood... . Luckily we had the North Adam's Griswolds come by in the Family Truckster. Looks like you could use a cold one, Clark. Y not...
For the record Tequila+(cory and andy)=two puddles. Roadtrip...! U have seen the rest, so go there... S.ome B.eavis' live in clean kitchens so real unwanted bummbling bafoons eat rabid dillweed in cactus kabob snitzengrouben. The party was good...nuff said. Rated PG-13; for Spice and Derek's "friends". A "spud"mackenzie impersonator was seen last flying over founders... Tablesaw @#*% the bed, Back to HQ. Therefore, we should keep the nibs off the power tools. Even though they haven't worked on the project in a while. Don't leave your cup lying around or you will be spudinated in the nuts.
AGD
Congratulations to the three newest members of Alpha Gamma Delta: Paula Brezniak, Kellie Popp, and Kendra Stillwell!! Welcome to the sisterhood-we love you! Big Congrats also to Jen DeL(see that?)uca for getting pinned to Mike Hoar, and to Kim Quigley, for her pinning to Justin Caserta! We are so happy for you! Alison Faye-you get a BIG hug this week....and Kim is once again sporting those nifty wings-got enough pins yet, Kim? Thank you to FIJI for the social on Friday, and the great facilitators for the OCOC program-SUPPORT THE AMOEBA! Happy Belated Birthdays to Melissa A.(22nd), and Wendy M.(24th-sorry Mom!)-and Happy Birthday to Erika on the 30th! To John Lott Brown, you're welcome!
How are we doing in intramurals, eh? You'd think with fifteen players and 30 or so cheerleaders we could at least win a game of floor hockey! Oh- Don't forget to get your schedule in to Erin for the teeter-totter-a-thon! Tomorrow is installation and the last meeting for the seniors (I think). We will miss you! And I also think this is my last column, aren't you heartbroken? I leave you all with a go-kart and a pomegranate...A DOVELING!!
ATO
BU has cordually invited Beats and me to their fine establishment on the seventeenth of March for the next two years. We'll be there. Barnyard boys. Open up the gates and let Cullen do his thing. Weed, eat that hotdog. Jimmy, what did you call me? If the human brain holds 6.0 * 10^2 billion cells, what's the percentage of cells left when Chad and Justin start school next fall. A.) 100, they are studying very hard, each and every day. B.) 6.2%, enough said. Teela, stagefright. Core played a tribute to Pantera. Probs. Dawson, it isn't PG-13. Hoar, congrats. McKeever, I'm with Dawson, drop the pink chic. Donnie, things definitely come in cycles. (Greek)
FIJI
OK folks, I'm kind of cramped for time today so I hope that you don't have any high expectations. First off, Giorgi, you can find yourself another roommate if I'm woken up again by the pleasant sounds of "The Urinater"! Hey Rice, tell your girlfriend Leanne to take herself, her dog, and Bailey and go back to Framingham State. Hey pledges, thanks for getting me up on Friday at 5:00am, I think there are a few more songs that you don't know yet. Hats off to the live entertainment from the Moaner, keep up the good work. On a lighter note, congradulations to Justin and Gove for pinning their girlfriends this past week end. Driscoll, have you asked Sweet Snuffy to the Island yet? Hey pledges, what did you think about last night? Ya, you'll probably forget that smell in a hurry. OK, I'm running out of ideas so I'm going to have to rely on my last resort, THE GREAT SWAMMI!
The Great Swammi says,"Assner's best friend, what Cabral is, and Mike Bank's fantasy" "Money, not funny, and Sweet Aunt Bunny"
The Great Swammi says,"Has big ears, the brother we need lojack for, and what Kijak and his twin brother Yany does" "shanZ, Mans, and tans"
The Great Swammi says,"Titus, what Greg is by Amy, and Assner's athletic rating "Tapped, wrapped, and handicapped"
The Great Swammi says,"Shrubs, can't run or sing for bung, and what Leono's head has" "Hedges, Pledges, and EDges"
The Great Swammi says,"A famous actor, Pat Cyr, and what Kijak has done so far as president" "DeNiro, Hero, and absolutely zero"!!!!!
Lambda Chi Alpha
Well this was an interesting week, to say the least. We had a great time at the hockey game. The game wasn't that exciting (except for the fights) but there sure was a lot of action in the stands. Joe tried to hook Sharkey up with some hot looking women (hey, they didn't look like they were in junior high). Luckily for Sharkey, he didn't have to deal with their phone call. If anyone needs a date for the White Rose, talk to Pageau, he has their number. Hurry up, only three left, Pageau already took one. The retreat was a success. Cross country bocce ruled! The accommodations were wonderful- nice heated cabins, yeah right. Joe chose to sleep in his car. Don't ask why. We fell two trees thanks to Scott and Nate. The bon fire lasted all night. We're real naturists. The Big Brother ceremony was awesome in front of the fire. Dino likes fire so much he almost burnt down the house cooking his midnight pancakes! (Dino was watching Beavis And Butt-head before this happened, yeah- Fire, fire! We should sue MTV) The KAGL hockey team won 7-0 in their first game. Schulz, Dube, and Lusignan played great on offense, obviously. Only four days guys until the White Rose. Hope you started looking for a date already! See you next with a guest writer.
Sigma Alpha Epsilon
Greetings and Salutations,
I hope everyone had a great break. Lemur is working on MQP so he called me in to relieve him this week. Well now for some updates. There is a new "stack" in the house thanks to the Cancun guys. Koller just watch your step. Hooch how did you manage to get negative points? Don't worry we won't tell. Congradulations goes to Goon and Duf for discovering that they were long lost twins. God that is amazing. I still can not believe that. Lemur whatever happened to the roses those girls from Cancun gave you? I heard the U.S. Olympic chair tossing team needs another good tosser. How about you give them a call. Cool hat George. Congrats to the pledges for surviving H E double hockey stick week. The house looks great. Keep up the good work, September is right around the corner. The semi will have been and gone by the time this goes to press so, I hope we had fun and everyone survives. I told you Lemur if you asked her she would have christened " the bed". Roomy you have just alittle time left to plant the seed and end the drought we have had in room 4. Yaaaa... Good One.... I heard Basl's mother is coming up so that could be the day. To disclaim the rumor, I DO NOT SUCK. Five Apples
TKE
Good day!! I, Birdie, am your pinch writer this week due to the fact your usual writer has no clue on how type and lacks creativity and won't take any risk to find out what won't be printed, whore (test #1). T.G.I.F.F, that is Thank God It's F_cking Friday (test #2) and I'm D.A.M.N. G.L.A.D. that the weekend is here. However, by now it is Tuesday and all the weekend bald beaver is hopeful back in the bush, C U Next Thursday (test #3). "There, I hope you all enjoyed our time together today. You know it seems harder and harder to just sit back and enjoy the finer things in life. Well, 'til next time.....ta ta". Well actually not, we just happen to be listening to Offspring, pudendum (test #4). Mr. O'Shea thought it would be cool, or rather cold, to go take a morning swim. He would like to thank all the over zelous new members for giving him a push. The 3am eternal new member express stormed through out the decks of the houses of TKE sporting their newly rewarded fine gray summer wear with a contrasting cherry red lettering of your favorite fraternity, TKE. No amount of money can purchase this hard to come by item worth I'd venture to say 250 sweaty, 1am type volentary motions using arms. Ptosis (test #5), go grab a dictionary you illiterate fellatio giver (test #6). Ok, here it is, the top ten list from our home office in Fairfield, OH, via Medford MA. "The top reasons why last week was just so special." 10. Who doesn't know my last name?! 9. Buddy system rules!! 8. House is really nice, cleaned all its major cracks and crevices 7. No fowl smell of home made yeast through out the house 6. class attendence is up, so is nap time on lecture hall floor 5. sleep is over rated 4. every one enjoys a smooth 12 oz can of Sprite first thing in the morning 3. a big, colorful, hunk of wood they call Fredd 2. brotherhood 1. PRIDE One last thing....you know Getta??
Theta Chi
Wassup my homies....another term, more of the same old same old. "Hey Salvatore, where are the secret documents?" "Don't worry Vito, I shredded 'em. There're up in Joe's room...no one will find them." Meanwhile in Rm 203..."Hey guys, OOK OOK, I did good, no one'll know...OOK" Alrighty then, in other news, late night pitch is the fad...Laroche won't admit it but he really does like their company to ease the strain of his recent loss...St Patty's went well, thanx to Hags & Dupe for the inspiration. JKav has once again "been had" by the locals, when WILL the madness stop? Dupont and Hager join "wonder twin" powers; take form of--antagonists. We are in luck, however, tough guy's got a great new spot to hook up the leash. Another run is in the making, this time out back (wouldn't want to tick Buddy off now would we). Johnson's teaching Braga how to be a gangsta at WPI, and the paintball draft is coming up, no deferments or flat feet accepted--the war is approaching fast. I wanna send a shout out to the new execs...great job so far, let's kick in the house psyche in D term and bring home the CUP...word-- I'm audi5000.
Zeta Psi
More and more...No wonder it snowed Friday, Hell has frozen over because we have talent for an intramural team...Muggy keeps asking if he can take a swim in the magically appearing lake that pops up from time to time in the basement...What's that? Zetes jumping off of the roof! No, no, it was just time for us to take the picture for the freshman record...Thanks for all those who came to the champagne social and the party this past Saturday...We're gonna do what to the quad when THE PARTY II rolls around?...This weekend we're going golfin' as we roadtrip up to MIT for the Golf Party...Next weekend is the second annual spring formal where there will be as many non-WPI women as there are WPI women...We can all rest safe and secure now that Fyrberg will be working for a defense department contractor. Just to be sure though, I think I'll start digging the bomb shelter out back...We had our first softball game Sunday and our first soccer game Monday...Wednesday, Opening night, A-team hockey vs. the Dogs and B-team vs. TKE! So who's gonna bring the body bags?...That's all for this week...Signing Off-Jabba
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