Greek Corner
Alpha Gamma Delta
Aloha! Is it spring yet? Happy Birthdays going to Pam Moser and Amy Gaitane both on the 23rd! Congratulations to all the new Rho Chi's for next year. Remember, Quadfest is coming up, so sign up to work at the IFC booth. A huge hug going out to Annabella this week and what is that crazy thing with warm fuzzies on it? It's cute Jen! Well that goes to Patti and you have to wear it everyday. Just kidding! And that's for her great job helping out Shannon. Sorry about your jacket. Hope we helped you out. Thanks go to Mia from the fall pledge class for the pictures from the Crush party. It's weird, you can tell where people are in initiation order by the look on her face! We love you Mia! Rumor has it that one of the Theta Chi floor hockey teams considers it a pretty violent sport! Is this true Mindy? Don't hurt the boys too bad girls! Tonight is the FIJI/AGD garden party. Meet at 24 Dean at 3:45 dressed for the occasion, Food that is! (No silly it's semi formal) Tomorrow's meeting is a formal one and the Teeter Totter A Thon starts this Friday!! Are we ready or what? Awards banquet this Friday, what's this Jen still needs ideas? Get them to her ASAP or she's giving us all the poopy award. Happy Teeter Tottering! Until next time when we're all sore... ADOVELING
Alpha Tau Omega
Rad has officially become the spokesperson for weight watchers. For details, ask Gajewski and Lewis how they lost ten pounds in the first four days. Teela, MD. What? John WB, I mean Dawson, congratulations on an academy award winning performance the other night. Cohen please relax. Relax. Relax. Deep breaths. McKeever you are so positive in your email. Keep it up. Gourdreau, how many times has she been the one? St. Marie, what do you say kid? Petrini and Jabberwock have been spotted on Mars where they have been staying for the past 4 years. Good Luck on the west coast college with Phat man. You'll need it. Weed, how much fat does 14 pieces of bacon and 23 pieces of sausage have? Wait a minute, don't eat that cold cut sandwich. Who ha ha, get your tickets for space mountain because their going fast. (!@#$% Pete)
Lambda Chi Alpha
Well guys, better start getting in shape before the Teeter-Totter-athon. It starts this Friday. Actually, while teetering or tottering (which ever you like better) you can actually burn off that beer belly. But you'll probably be adding to it at the same time! I hope everyone raised gazillions of money. Even though I'm not that good at predicting the future, a few brothers went to the dog track and won gazillons of money, maybe. Our IM teams are still _______! I can't say the word because it's bad luck. KAGL (no "E") soccer had a great 3-1 win over their division rival. Congrats to our first LCA team to win in Division I! LCA soccer got the win. And everyone complained about being in Div. I. Our painting job went well last Saturday. We had so many guys we ran out of brushes. Quote of the Week: "If you don't know anything, you're f*@$&#." -anonymous. When's the Sigma Banquet? 32nd of April? Topic for next e-mail argument: Rhode Islander is better than messed up Massachussetts. Your Personalized Lucky Number: 9-23-21-5-37-12. I told everyone there wasn't much to write about this week!
Phi Sig Sig
Hello voluptuous Phi Sigs!! First off, a special hello to all the seniors, you are almost out of here!! You all must be feeling really good after Wednesday's meeting! Congrats to Moose for getting pinned! (someday Dope) Happy B-day to LJ, Liz H., and Bethy hope they were GREAT!! Hello to Rajah - that one's for Lee. Whit says thanks to Pucci and Jen for being there. Hey Laura, what was that toy found in your room? Ann, what did you do with that candle? Erika - No more pets!! Great job showing our spirit at the third annual fork-off. Hey Teresa, fork you!! Don't forget the March of Dimes-Walk America on April 30th. Hi to Heidi, Jen R., Liz A., Moose, and Jen C. Good luck to the seniors with their project presentations, thanks for the day off!! LITP!!
Sigma Alpha Epsilon
Lemur was busy this week so he had me write this article. First off I would like to warn the seniors to quiet down at night, Danille can't stand the noise. Attention underclassman time is running out and Faunce has to select a new president, only Becker is willing to step forward. Now the Top Ten Predictions for Spring: 10. The pledge class gets initiated...HaH! 9. Hultgren and Cohen go for a swim 8. Micheal Ong Vincent says he only has one year of school left....whatever 7. Spud and Trey jr. become dinks 6. Mun rents a U-Haul to take home all the stuff in Room 8. 5. Basl and Stubert do some recruiting for the armed forces...They're looking for a few good men. 4. Proulx gets a clue. 3. Duff finally does a senior appreciation shot. 2. George and Coux go tanning on the beach in their Speedo's. 1. Faunce gleams the Cube. Well that's it for this week. Five Apples.
Sigma Pi
I'd like to start out this week's article with a poem dedicated to our friendly neighbor who is in the hospital and has tolerated us for some time- Sigma Pi hereby disclaims any offense taken by it. (I didn't write it either): There was an old lady who was our neighbor, She always complained about our behavior. She barred the windows and locked the doors, she even attempted to even the score. She blows on her whistle, she bangs on her walls, She calls up the cops always breaking our balls. She looks in Sherman's window, screams the musics too loud, We think she's checking out Wiebe cause he's well endowed. We try to be neighborly and shovel her walks, But the good things we do, don't make our talks. We have a good time till the partying stops, Through MS, campus police, and the "Real" cops. We crank our Alice, and our Pearl Jam, Neither of which, she is a fan. With Len's sound and with Len's bass, We shake her house all over the place. But we're in college just having fun, We stay up boozin' till the morning sun. You may say we're evil, You've heard all the lies, God Damn, I love this place. Sincerely, Sigma Pi's
Other News- Black hole's are getting anxious as the year comes to an end, and they're too cool to hang out with us underclassmen. Get out! All of you! you're dragging us down! Clambake is coming up, and there is no reason why everyone's parents shouldn't show up too, so get em down here. Or at least find a date for the Orchid, I know many who would like to come, so if you can't find one, I'll find one for you. That's not a threat, just an offer. See You Next Tuesday.
Tau Kappa Epsilon
Ba Bing!! Hey there again to all of the TKE column groupies. Let's get these announcmemts out of the way: this weekend is the Special Olympics tournaments, all brothers should sign up for two shifts (those of us working not participating). Also, except for all of the civils, because you guys need all the help you can get, there are no classes this Thursday. Hey Stimpy how's public transportation? Glad you and the little woman are ok. We all know that condoms are for safe sex, but Charlie Brown what is that thing on your arm for? We definitely cannot forget to thank all of our awesome Little Sisters for the great job they did with the Easter decorations and the egg hunt!!! Good ideas, and the house looks great. Hey Sahal, with less than three weeks left, when are you going to start on your suff? Greg?? If you ever get the chance, lock Dooley out of his room, it's pretty funny. Believe it or not, there are only 12 more days of classes left in the term. Bob, he's in the band, they played at UMass last Thursday, they played good, I think it's because Bob's in the band, ladies and gentlemen, GFY! Water balloons off the deck, what could be better. That'll do it for this week except for our now time honored tradition of another top ten list, the Top Ten things about Easter Weekend 10. End of midterm week 9. The freedom to consume once again, all of us except for Markus that is 8. Rabbit hunting 7. Finally the chance to blow some eggs 6. We get those cool palm leaves at church 5. Cool cards in the mail from your Little Sister 4. Nice quiet house for once 3. Don't have to fight for good spot on the couch Sat. morning for the tick 2. Those cool Cadburry cream eggs and commercials 1. Egg hunts (Easter eggs and others) Let's get ready for this weekend, everyone's help is needed. Aaa bye bye.
Theta Chi
I got 5 minutes to pump an article through the information superhighway in hopes of making this deadline...I wish me luck. Last week I decided to save the world some paper and not write one. Contrary to popular belief, I didn't forget. (right) Hager got what was coming to him...justice is served. Now that pigga betta take down that barbed wire corral he calls a room and thin up. There's no need for butter on the door jambs on party nights...it ain't right. So we had a great faculty dinner.. about 30% attendance, which is good by comparison to last year... Next one will be even better. Well, I got a deadline, and that's it for this week. I'm audi...
Zeta Psi
Only a few more weeks...Hope y'all had a happy Easter...In two weeks, its THE PARTY II (creative) brought to you by that same lovable bunch as last year... Congratulations to the intramural softball team for going 3-0, hey who cares if there's only one legitimate win...Also, to the A-team hockey squad for their close win over KAP, putting them at 2-1 with only one game remaining...This week's Mickey's Ice athlete of the week: Nick Palmer, for trying to prove that not even an iron fence could stop him from catching the ball, and to the rest of us who showed up to play softball last week, for making the Bad News Bears look good...this week its the A team Hockey final game against SAE on Thursday
Now for the part you've all been waiting for some of this year's year end awards: Most Improved Social Leper: Sac, but he's still dancing alone at the end of parties, First Runner Up: George "Craftsman" for breaking the five foot rule at the Formal...Most Creative Brother: Jimmy "Big Dog" Pavlat, Nobody can crimp and kybosh those mingers like Big Dog...Athlete of the Year: Ted "Don't call me lazy" Phipps, yes, he does do more than smoke, eat, and study...Most Clueless Looking Brother: Greg Sheeler, how does he manage to look so out of it?...Best Drunken Swagger: Jason Kipp, nobody can sway and pass out like he can...Most Annoying Brother: For the second year running, Geoff Zub, keeping the annoying forest alive and well...That's all for now, more next week...Signing Off-Jabba
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