Anne explains that it is really hard trying to explain her bisexualism and that most people believe it is just indecision on whether she wants to be a heterosexual or homosexual. According to her, she is not homosexual or heterosexual, she is bisexual. "It was not a choice I had. I could have chosen to ignore it (her bisexuality) but I could not have chosen it out of my life," Anne commented.
Stacy also mentions that although she is out on-campus, her parents don't really know about it. She has not found a way of explaining it to her parents. "My dad would just think it is a phase. But I will never grow out of it. Eventually I will probably find a life-long partner of either sex and then it could have been a phase that I was attracted to men or that I was attracted to women. It all depends on who I end up with then... but I will always be equally attracted to both genders."
They claim that there are a lot of misconceptions about bisexual people. "If I were to tell somebody that I am bisexual, they would think that all I think about is just sex and that I don't have any other aspect to me. It is just intimidating, because I am not just sexuality; I am a person," Anne said. What really troubles Anne and Stacy is that out of the misconceptions straight people have, prejudices have grown.
"There is a lot of prejudicing out there and I don't want to deal with it. Most of my friends are completely out and they face it everyday and I don't know if I am strong enough. But someday I will be and then I will be completely out," said Anne.
For Stacy, the WPI campus is very conservative. "The WPI campus is not a gay-friendly campus. If you listen to people and their jokes you think 'Why would I want to be out to these people?'"
Anne did not know BiLAGA existed until the beginning of this semester. "It (BiLAGA) is not very publicized and if it was there would be a lot of backlash against it." She also mentioned that years ago when the meetings were being publicized, one of the fraternities' rush events was to come and bash a BiLAGA meeting. "WPI is a very conservative campus," Anne said, "of the few people I have told I wouldn't say they have reacted negatively, but they have reacted very conservatively."
Stacy and Anne have by far been involved in more heterosexual relationships than in homosexual relationships but they both claim to be bisexual. Stacy mentions that homosexual relationships most of the time have to be closeted because they do not have the society approval. That takes away a lot of things from the relationship. "I dated a friend of mine for some time. But she wasn't out so WE couldn't be out to anybody, which irritated me. We couldn't do most of the stuff heterosexuals couples could do." She nevertheless considers herself bisexual. "I am more attracted to women," Stacy said.
That raises the question whether they would consider themselves Lesbians more than bisexuals had they chosen to attend an all-female institution or a more open-minded campus. "I don't think I would have ever being stopped being attracted to guys, I mean they do have some redeeming qualities," Stacy laughs.
Anne also felt the same way. "I don't think that is a choice. I think that is me. I don't think that my physical situation has much to do with my sexual orientation. It doesn't go away just because I have more choices to choose from. I would still be attracted to both men and women."
What has kept them on campus is the firm conviction that WPI will provide them with a good education. "I came here for an education. Despite the conservative atmosphere on campus, I have never thought about transferring because of it. I could get by with these (anti-gay) people. I don't have to interact with them on a daily basis," Stacy said. But as with most things in life it is easier said than done. As Anne puts it, "I hear people in the hallways and the dorms saying 'he is such a fag!' or 'he is so queer!' It is really hard to hear that because most of the time they do not mean it. But it is very disturbing to hear. I don't think they do it on purpose but I think they ought to think before they speak and it is not always easy to ask people to do that."
To Anne the key is awareness. "The more we speak out, the more tolerance we get. I don't believe people here are mean and cruel, they are just unaware. I think education is more the key."
However, this is easier said than done. According to Stacy, getting people to speak out is very difficult because "sometimes it takes a long time to admit to yourself that you might be gay or BI. If you grew up believing that is inherently wrong, it takes a while to understand that it is not wrong. It is you." According to them, even after you admit it to yourself coming out is very difficult.
Stacy pointed out that years ago somebody in one of the residence halls was out and that people kept bothering him and posting nasty signs on his door and that he got beaten up a couple of times. "That's something you don't want to do to yourself. Being out is a relief, but it is not relieving to know that you might get beaten up," said Stacy.
Being gay or bisexual at WPI is very hard whether, as Anne and Stacy pointed out, dealing with your own confusion or with other people's intolerance. "You can pretend it doesn't exist but it is not going to leave. You have to learn to accept it and expect people around you to accept it too." According to Stacy, "WPI has to realize that we are still people. Chances are that somebody you know is gay and they are just not telling you."
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