His voice is firm and his eyes conveyed sincerity, but the incessant movement on his knees gives away his nervousness. He does not know what consequences this interview can cause, neither do I. However the conviction that there is a lot of misconceptions and prejudices about gay people at WPI led him to agree to be interviewed.
How did you reach the conclusion that you were gay?
In the fall of my sophomore year I really started thinking about it. I have always being attracted to guys almost exclusively but I kept putting that down in the back of my head - I never had a girlfriend- until one day I realized: "Who am I kidding?" But it took me until March to really tell anybody.
Admitting that to yourself was a difficult step, but telling somebody... Was that an even greater step?
It would have been easier for me if I had someone to talk to. I did not know BiLAGA existed. I came out very slowly, telling very few people at the beginning. It helped that most of my friends were females- females don't have as much of a problem as guys do. But of the male friends I have told, one of them I considered to be a real close friend had no trouble with it, which really surprised me. But I think I changed his mind on the subject, because he was anti-gay in his own way until he actually met somebody who was gay.
Did it relieve you to tell somebody?
Telling somebody made me extremely happy. The first person I told was a very good friend of mine from High School. She reacted well because we have known each other for a long time and because she was very open minded. Her attitude encouraged me to tell other people. Today, I have no problem telling people if it comes up in conversations. I will only bring it up if it comes up or if I am in a situation in which I have to say it.
How did your family react when you told them?
I have been very lucky, some of my friends have had far worse experiences than I. My family took it well. But my older brother did not. When he first found out - I did not tell him - he avoided me and when we talked, he was very angry at me. Once he told me - and this is a straight quote: "Burn in Hell you cock sucking faggot!" He was the only one who has ever said that to me, it was very sad.
There is a lot of ignorance and at the same time a lot of stereotyping about gay people. What is it really like to be gay?
It is not very different from being heterosexual. Gay clubs are the same as straight ones, the only differences is that there are more males. Before I came out I had decided to put my love life or looking for a relationship in the back of my mind and never worry about it, but that's an aspect of life that is very important to most people. Looking back I am surprised on how I did it for so long.
Are there any stereotypes in particular that bothered you?
Most people try to believe that gay people are very flamboyant and very feminine. I know people who are and I know people who aren't. I also know people who might fit the stereotype but that are straight. In parades the media always looks for a specific part of the parade and stick to it. I have marched in parades and there are a lot of people like me, but they like to portray the extremist: people in leather and very flamboyant people.
People also tend to think that gay relationships don't last as long as heterosexual relationships, which is not true. Gay people also look for long term monogamous relationships.
What can you say about WPI from your own personal view?
I don't think this campus is as open-minded as it could be. I came out a year ago and yet I have not had a major problem, mainly because the people who know are people I have known for a while and if you really know somebody for a while, that just becomes one more thing they know about you.
The only people who would have a problem are people who don't know me and don't want to know me.
Is the atmosphere at other schools better or are all campus equally as conservative?
The atmosphere at Clark is better. This school is predominantly white male. Clark is a Liberal Arts school and the female/male ratio is better. They are more open minded than we are.
Have you ever had to face any difficult situation that arose just because you were gay?
Not really. I did not come out until my sophomore year, but freshman year I knew several people on my floor who were anti-gay. I also met a friend through the Worcester's gay youth program who had attended WPI. He was not gay or had not admitted to himself he was gay yet, but he filled the stereotype and people started saying "Oh, He is gay!" They gave him so much shit for it that he moved back home, finished the year and then dropped out. From what other people tell me that's a common story in freshman dorms. I know I would have had problems with certain people had I been out my freshman year.
Do you think that's an issue today in residence halls?
I think it is an issue, especially on the all-male floors like Morgan and Daniels second, where they have the macho type of atmosphere. All it takes is a few people. If they cause you enough shit, it is going to be very hard to adjust, and it is very hard to adjust your first year as it is. Last thing you need is something to make it harder.
Why do you think some people are homophobic?
It is something that it is engraved from youth. When you go to school one of the biggest insults is to call somebody gay, faggot or whatever... That's something that even I would have subscribed to. I used to call people faggots when I was younger but I never thought about what it meant and a lot of that carries on. Some people think gay people are very strange. I have a lot of friends who claim they don't know anybody who is gay.
I guess you can't expect all the people to understand. It is a shame they don't but you can't expect all the people to understand.
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