Greek Corner
Alpha Gamma Delta
hey there! happy birthday to carrie (16th), cara (20th) and kellie (jan 2nd) hope everyone tries to make it to the sae social tonight. speaking of sae thanks for caroling and we all hope that the elf got santa home alright! have a great break everyone... i'm turning over to heather because the column is great and our pledges rule!!!! agd pledges... hee, hee, three more dayS! happy birThday to...elAine bell (24th),mellissa clark (17th), and allYson bird (jan. 5th). All dressed in beautiful goWns, accompanied by merry men, the pledges mAde their waY to the gym. as they entered a surprised look came upon their Faces. the only light in the gym was a tiny table lamp in the middle of the flooR. "the electricity went off, besides its more romantic" said nil. we shrugged Our shoulders to Make the best of it. yet people kept bumping into one another and stepping on one another. "this is horrible! if everyone gives two bucks we can go down to walmart and buy more lamps!" sarah exclaimed. julie looked at sarah and said "whatever" so a troop of pledges went down to walmart to buy some lamps. when they got there walmart was having a big game bonanza. "lets play table soccer!" they all raced over to play, forgetting about the lamps. meanwhile back at the formal, the pledges were getting discouraged. the men were moaning "i'm hungry, wheres the food" " and some reason becky couldn't stop yelling "shut-off the lamp!!!!" in the corner there was a low "woof...grrr...woof" everyone was going insane! elaIne was going to each Couple looking them straight in the eye and saying "you are each responsible for your own happiness, remember this!" ,making her finger move up and down. to cheer everyone up Kat yelled and screamt up and down the dance floor "woo-who!!!!!!" noticing the tense surroundings, someone suggested "lets sing heather Yelled "hate!!" getting worried julie suggested to go to a phone and call campus police to turn on the electricity. everyone looked at her increduously and scared she said in a meek voice "just kidding?" the pledges from their excursion to walmart came Back, yet instead of lamps they brought back paint. the whOle crowd looked at the paint with a weird glance, allYson whispered to her fellow pledges still holding the paint "wave, then paint!" that night the pledges had a grand ol time. the gym is now red, buff, and green with purple polka dotS and kat has not stopped yelling "woo-who!!" rumors say that daka and the full moon had a little something to do with it but personally i think the pledge class of 1995-96 is a bunch of crazy girls!! adoveling, HD- merry holiday! ps what secret message?!
Alpha Tau Omega
Hey, -hitty. Quote of the week: Justin after Tuesday night discovering he had to clean Ma's head: " It must have spinach because it was green. Farewell and Goodluck to our brothers: Kelly, Peavey, Graves, and Cohen, who will be graduating in December. Congrats to the new top six: Doyle,President; Chandler,Vice-President; Chaplain,Lee Core; Treasurer;Dan Atkinson; Secretary,Dan Shea; Historian; Wingate. Slade and PK became seven year olds again with no brains and broke their wrists on the way to visit the large history building. Brains do not exist in this dojo, do they? Wingate: left,left,left,left. The wall of Natty has fallen and because of this Budha personally has taken it upon himself to build a new, bigger, and stronger wall over break. Oldie but goodie: Socha's idea of higher learning is studying on third floor. Beez was seen over in Fuller this past Tuesday, the kid with a beard and long hair. (Think about the last time you actuall saw him) Aviv, u dig on swine? Maria, do u know what my name is? Just admit you wanted to Freshman year. Modification of the quaf by 23 inches. (Greek)
Alpha Chi Rho
Here it is: THE 12 DAYS of CROWSMAS
On the twelfth day of Crowsmas, my brother gave to me....
12 pack of Mr. Chow, 11 tons of popcorn, 10 more weeks til Key West, 9 postulants raiding, 8 -ty cups on da cube, 7 snapping sallies, 6 hours of Simpsons, 5 work parties, 4 guys for FBH, 3 Kegs to Drink, a couple of duck, and a beer, in a tree.
Happy holidays and all that jazz!!
-TRICK
Lambda Chi Alpha
Just a quick appology to Lambda Chi, there was a misunderstanding on how to decorate for the christmas season. Hey pledges whats with the charlie brown wellfare tree. Did you get it at the Keith Kerr tree farm? Beleive it or not Forest has found a Jennay. Tits and Assner you have the right to shut up. Hey pledges Seal has cut down to three packs a week, so next time you wont get away. I think Palmer and Seal got lost on there way to store 24 and ended up at the fitness center. There was an uncomfirmed Goveunder sitting this week, he must of needed another whip for his girfriend. What has a 3.8 gpa, coop and leadership experience......... an unemployed overachiever. Quote of the week was a tie between, " do you have a warrent, than Im not talking" and " I think I can scare the sh- out of them". Assner just think no more responsabilities, or wait a minute when did you have any? Good luck to RB Im sure he will do a good job but then again he couldnt do worse. Speaking of Al what are you and Zima going to light those loving ethnic candles. Hey shanz, just wanted to borrow a movie huh, yeah right. By the way are they really horizontal. Simps some day youll talk to her. Rumor has it Obs has moved out of his second floor quad to a fourth floor penthouse. Ranucci's big second chance: I wonder what excuses he can come up with this year. Question of the day , where will jackie live next year. What do you think, grad school next year rice? Just think Giorgi now you can relax from all those responsibilities. Congrats to Mans for saddling the Magnificant Galloping Ghost. Henna I never knew you liked the 80's so much. Well talk to you later.
Phi Sigma Sigma
Hello Phi Sigs! Hope everybody had a good time at the formal!! Thanks to Jenn Alley and Misa who both did an excellent job. We all look forward to the next one... Congratulations to Karla and John - Karla you fooled us all!!! Congrats also to the women's basketball team for an excellent beginning to the new season. Excellent social new members, keep up the good work. Thank you to everybody who went carolling Thursday night, you all have beautiful voices. Thanks also to the people who helped with the can sculpture. Great job at the orphan party girls, thank you SAE! Leah and Jen Childs - excellent job with philanthropy!! Thanks also to OX for the great around the world social Friday night! Congrats to Kim Sieber for her job offers! Good luck to all the seniors interviewing!!(SCARY) Katie and Kelly S., great job on the boob raid! Pucci, did you have fun at the formal? Not that you would remember after polished off that bottle, ALONE in the corner!! You're crazy man! Julie P., what's the duck tape really for? Kristen, I don't think I'll be buying bagles any time soon!! Kelly and Misa I heard you both had something wrong with your nose?! Jen W., okay I'll walk you home now. Nik, first day with your new feet? The first step is a doozy! I love you my little pumpkin. Adrienne, I don't want to move on. Connie...Need I say more!!! SKCUSSA - GET A LIFE!! Everybody have an awesome break!! Get some sleep, and don't study a thing. Spanky and Sarah T. will finally be liberated and get to go skiing!! A few special hellos to Lisa S., Tina, Lynn K., Diane, Karen, and Bethy(Liz H. misses you!!) Keep up the psyche new members, you guys are the best!! Find your pins! LITP!!
Sigma Alpha Epsilon
Before we leave for Christmas I would like to leave you with some helpful hints to make your holidays a little happier. Here are the top five things you don't want to do before Christmas. 5) Talk to any of the pledges....ever. 4) Play santa in room 17 without a chimney. 3) Be with the elf in room five after caroling. 2) Catch plumbing disease. And number one is...sit on santa Fratini's lap and get a surprise package. Before I leave I would like to congratulate all the new officers, you really earned it. Especially, Enis and Stevens who are now the heads of one of the most infamous and elite group of brothers in the house.
Five Apples
Sigma Pi
Well, I must apologize for not having an article the past two weeks, but this one should make up for it, as a lot happened this week. For one thing, Swoop, never use the sink again. And he seems to have a thing for Julie's family. Thanks to Len for bulking up all us fatsos and not weighing us in.
On a serious side, there is s a new E.C. For better or worse, Jerry is president, Fury Vice-President, Swoop Dog as Treasurer, Mrs. Drew Piner as Secretary, the undergrad who should be alumni as first councilor, and Myman the jailbird as Herald. Congrats to everyone.
We welcome Steve to the pledge class. It looks like you'll make us all proud. Keep up the good dr... er... work. Snowflake went well, as did secret santa. Thanks to Zippo for being santa pig this year. Boot santa, boot! And thanks to Swoop for getting a camera and getting some good pictures of Nordberg in his prime.
Sherman - ecstasy! Nordberg, no more! So who didn't pick up Little Brad's sister? Jackson, are you huked awn fonekx yet? I hope so. Swoop, did you use your present? I assume so, as you're still here. The Moronathon went better than expected. We raised more than 500$. Well done, Roberts! Well, hope everyone has a good holiday break, and we'll see you all back at the Pi in the new year. See You Next Tuesday...
Tau Kappa Epsilon
Yessss! This is the last Greek Corner from the Raabi, Dinki gets full control after today. Well, what does everyone think about making everyday Poleman's birthday, that was kinda fun! Who got the gift wrapped Miata for Christmas? A huge thanks to all of the Friends of the Fraternity for making the house so nice and protecting it last Wednesday. Also, excellent work new members on the beautiful tree and accompanying gift. Valiant effort award for singing goes to Romeo. Oh yes, the new verses rruullee!, right Tat?! Thanks to all the faculty members who came to TKE's rockin' Faculty Christmas Party. Thanks also to the AGD's for stopping by, and the members of the Men's Glee Club for making the event more festive. Sightings of the "Merry One" were made at TKE last Saturday night, and all were a little more jolly by the time he left. How about a blizzard, I know I'll be wishing for a white Christmas. Be aware, you thought the meeting that would never end was two weeks ago, you were wrong. Be there for the meeting Wednesday night, and to all the seniors, make those speeches short and sweet. Best of luck to all those who won't be around after Christmas, and those who will be journeying to Puerto Rico by raft. Ohio calls you, all must go! This week's top five list comes to you from the pure white sandy beaches of Venice, Italy. The top five reasons why Christmas is so great. 5) Getting pictures with Santa's little female helpers at the mall, instead of with the man him self. 4) No more artificial snow for the ski freaks, so they stop whining and bleeding. 3) Wrapping a McDonald's toy, and trying to pass it off as a cool gift. 2) Modeling all your new underwear for mom and dad so they know it fits (You guys do this too, right??). 1) Seeing girls of all ages enjoy sitting upon a strange man's lap and giggle at his chants of, HO HO HO. It's been great everyone, have and awesome Christmas break, and avoid the C-term blues this year! C u next time slackers, we're outta here...TKE PRIDE!!!
Theta Chi
What have we here? Rivalry? Fraternal relations take an upswing last week with the deserted island boys while they fell a few points with the ra fraternity. Oh well, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. However, feejee, you're only as cool as your last party, which was...ours? In other news, OX publishing has been overwhelmed with an abundance of new releases. Such best sellers include _Back from the Dead_ by Buck Dog, _Improving Interfraternal Relations_ by Jesse, _The Color Purple_ by Nickels Lombardius, _The Art of the Luge_ by Ravioli and _Home Improvement Made Easier_ by LeClair. Look for the movie versions of these books in your local Blockbuster soon. Looking into the weekend festivities, here are a few predictions... Gross and team seen in living room, chimney smoking (but no fire?); in friendly competition, Jessters fiance steals crow; Nark and LeHair break something (duh?); Bruno's date actually woman shaped waffle, gone by the end of the night; and Reed and Mojo fight in a jealous rage over being D'Beau's date. Karen, can Mic come out and play? In house health news, Plute still manages to bag two broads with big hooters while immobilized (they did all the work, per his orders). Johnson's gang outreach program bringing neighborhood hoodlums to our parties is cancelled due to dupont's social skills. Mysterious person spotted wandering in house...rumors have it: Zurkus without hat. Hannula seen groping through substance on party room floor looking for tarnished pin. Hopes fall as *Bowie* mops it all up. Well to wrap it all up, thanks to phi sig sig for sharing some rum, rum, and eggnog with us. Don't worry, we'll make it stronger next time. Already then, that's it boys...LES GO! Peace from tha roostah.
Zeta Psi
Something special for my 30th corner...
Twas the night before the Christmas Party, and all through Zeta Psi, all the beer cans were empty, even the Natural Light,
The pledges were hungover, and lying everywhere, with hopes they could rest before the brothers were there,
The Phi with his Anthrax and George with his bat they had just settled in after the last night cap,
When down in the Kitchen there arose such a clatter, The Phi and Fred ran to see what was the matter,
When what to their wondering eyes should appear but a pot-bellied rugby player holding a barrell of beer,
He had two butts and red nose and cheeks and he scratched his head as he walked to the fridge,
He put the beer on ice, before he screamed for all to hear, with a wink of his eye, he said, "DUDE, where's your beer?!",
So they partied and drank and sang and smiled as they said to all Merry Christmas to you and Happy New Year.
12 Days of Zete-Mas
12-Dozen Donuts
11-TO One
10-Serving Seven
9-Balding Brothers
8-Potatoes Launching
7-Brothers a Bitching
6-Pack of Mickey's
5-Christmas Trees
4-Days til Break
3-Scums Left
2- Butts on Jimmy
1-Pissed off Fee Up next week 1.2 million reasons to save a buck...Congrats to all the new officers...See you next time...Signing Off-Jabba
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