On Becoming(Part two of a series on initiation into manhood)

by Tom Balistrieri, Director, Counseling & Student Development

The morning sun found the boys red-eyed from exhaustion and tears of fright. They were cold, hungry, and quite miserable to behold. In the distance could be heard singing. Deep voices, a drum called out a morning song. The boys recognized the song as a greeting to the day and to new life. The boys looked at one another quizzically and in silent agreement walked as one toward the place from where the singing and drumming emanated. The singing grew louder as the boys approached a clearing in the undergrowth. There in a grassy area surrounded by trees sat a group of older men. The men were facing the sun, drumming as one and singing the greeting to the day. The boys stared intently at the men realizing they were their captors and simultaneously recognizing them as grandfathers, fathers, uncles, and other men from the village. At once the boys lost their sense of fear, yet for some reason did not feel a part of this circle of men. They did not feel they could approach these family members and friends. The eldest of the men, a thin, graying man known for his wisdom and storytelling, looked over and motioned for the boys to sit, then returned to the matter at hand. The boys sat in the grass listening to the voices of the men.

The song ended and the men congratulated one another on their fine singing. For what seemed an eternity, they ignored the presence of the young boys sitting on the edge of the clearing. Then one of the men rose and walked over to the boys, sat down, and began speaking: "Last night we told you our most sacred law. You must first and foremost love and respect yourself. You are related to all things. Everything you do touches all things. If you do not love and respect yourself, then you will act carelessly to yourselves and to all things. Look around you. Nearly everything you see is a circle. Birds build their nests in a circle. The moon is a circle. Cut a tree in half and it is a circle. Cut a man in half and he is a circle. The seasons move in a circle. Life moves in a circle. Whatever is square tries to become round. You cannot avoid the fact then that whatever you do comes back around that circle and affects you and all things along the way. So we sing that morning song to begin the circle of the day, to greet the day, and to help us remember the laws of our people-the laws of loving and respecting oneself and that we are related to all things. These laws are the beginning of being a man."

He looked at the boys and continued, "You are hungry and thirsty. But today you will not eat nor will you drink. You think me cruel, but in everything we do these coming days there is a lesson. All you must do is listen." With that he rose and returned to the circle of men. The scattering of boys sat in silence pondering the words of the elder.

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