Greek Corner
Alpha Gamma Delta
Hey everyone! I want to first congratulate all our senior sisters who have found jobs! Great work. Good job to julie for organizing hand print T's. To the college bowl team, you have to win ya know! What is a tomato?! Here's to silly rose notes! A big hug and the ugly dog goes to ann and the spirit hat goes to amy for her great programs. Standing O! Don't forget to go give blood tomorrow. Thanks to all the moms for helping the pledges study for the big test. To nappi and Deb: are they almost ready or what!? To everyone that has a class on wed nites we miss ya. Is anyone else just really annoyed with this term or what? It's almost over, i hope! hang in there. and if you're just too stressed go on the movie trip jen's planning. To the pledges, make sure you have some red, buff and green things! We're almost there. Until next week. ADOVELING
Alpha Tau Omega
Come on. Come on. Bugeye became a freak this past Tuesday night after treating Budha to his 21st. Budha, nice face plant off the balcony. Try to use your face a little more next time. I still give you a 9 out of 10 for effort. Slade, throw another pancake at Justin, he loves it. Donnie we're still in high school, right? Who's the cool guy who broke the hall ball. I was supposed to use that for a stats project. Andy met the dolphins and Arnold Palmer this past week. Gobis broke down. No more kosherness. You still got the rope. 2:45 in the afternoon after Budha's 21st: JUstin:What's up dude? Swifty: Are you just getting up. Justin: I was supposed to go to a class this morning but, yeah dude. I just got up. Morin figured what the hell. You gotta do what you gotta do. McDonut became the hurrican Peter McNeely, I 'll wrap you in my coccoon, after Tyson KO'd him this past weekend. Nikolau is hoping that he can get into that rated R movie. Pooz sounds good over seas. Space Mountain. You mess with the best, you lose with rest. Talk to the hand cuz the face don't care. (OUZO)
FIJI
Greetings T'Birds. Back again for another delightful cornering. Thanks to the pledges for the much needed firewood, the foyer was getting awful chilly. Congratulations to ShanZ for finally mounting the Italian Stallion this past weekend at Manley's. Apologies to the emergency ward for the numerous casualties after the football game. Though hospitalized for the past week, Zeke's health has improved. Rumor has it that he is meeting with The Guiness Book of World's Records this Wednesday-most STD's carried by a warm blooded animal. I don't know, I think that the pledges might be able to make it around the table answering everything right...Ambrosia, Ambrosia, Ambrosia OK, Let's cut to the chase....NOW FOR THE INFAMOUS SWAMMI!!! Swammi Says,"A type of chair, Bob Keeney, and Dopes Girl"
"Wicker, Kicker, and Licker" Swammi Says,"Gove, Gallo, and what the pledges will be doing soon enough"
"Lyin',Brian, and Cryin'" Swammi Says,"A box, a talk show host, and is faithful to his girlfriend (Sure...)"
"Coochie, Bonaducci, and Ranucci" Swammi Says,"Where to find Seal, a Liveout, and Lamoureux"
"His Bed, T-Bird Ted, and one bald head" Swammi Says,"Bob, Simps, and Assner"
"Skinner, the big winner, and not getting any thinner" Swammi Says,"Toby's second cousins, how you cut meat, and at the end of a whip"
"Mice, by the slice, and NO, NOT AGAIN RICE!!"
Lambda Chi Alpha
Well guys, we're finally back. There was a little too much hanging out this weekend, but over all things went well. We would like to congratulate Blanchette for keeping it in the family. Maybe she can confirm some of those rumors. Glad to see UConn enjoyed our facilities and special thanks for handling our rat problem. On a sad note, Jeevan now needs to buy textbook in braille. Alright, who let Bruce Lee upstairs? Or was it Charlie Chaplin? Who cares, he sure can kick, but what about that drywall-destroyer Daly? Next time, try animate objects. Dingley decided to take care of the fire himself this time. Packard really got into the flow of things this weekend, eh?
Thanx,
- Pag and Skintight P.S. Joe, you'll have to move your car to make room for plowing behind the dumpster.
FKQ
The THRILL of victory and the GROSSness of defeat. There's nothing like a good competitive basketball game, but our red shirted friends did everything wrong. We can play rough too and we do it better. But at least you guys belong to a real fraternity, right?
On a lighter note, Martinez's lifting plan is going well, he's just about obtained the perfect physique, almost good enough for Jill. PAPANDREA. Pattershwag won't let a little rash stop him from having a good time even after he pukes from his nose. Pouliot seems to have a nose for the easy women. Congratulations to the wrestling team for beating Coast Guard once again, sorry we were so polite this time, but we're trying to stay on campus for a while. This past week Batcha was reintroduced to his two good friends, Roy and Laskowski, and I think he's seen enough of them to last a while, or at least until the bruises heal.
Cui's Corner-sorry couldn't quite make out what he was saying this week.
- K.T.F.B.-
Sigma Alpha Epsilon
Spring Rush! It's the same as fall rush only shorter and with more snowballs. For the perspective rushies that means you need to come down to the house more often so we can get to know you and you can see what we are about. If you have any questions don't hesitate to give us a call. Come by for lunch and dinner any time.
Now for the top 8 things you do not want to hear at three in the morning. #8) Any music from the first deck brown house. #7) A drunken argument about billiards. #6) A drunk call from Basl in Bangkok. #5) Willock playing with Ernie in a new way. #4) Anything in Fratini's CD rack. #3) That you have been nominated for UMOC. #2) You don't want to hear about Ken's premature problem. And the #1 thing you definitely don't want to hear at three in the morning is a girl saying you bare certain similarities to Scurvy. Remember, the "minute" is coming.
Five Apples
Theta Chi
Let's start this one out with a thanks to the 95-96 pledge class...what a presentation. Hey, who ordered Tech....wait a minute, what the christ is this? I also gotta pat ThaLouza on the back for a unique approach to improving the quality of weekend partygoers attending our house of permiscuity. And one more thing...what happened to the junior/sophomore gang wars like last year. Get your acts together boys...remember the Alamo. Oh, you thought EClair was supposed to be the victim? What's wrong with mrs litos anyway? Or is it manny's fault that she doesn't know when not to be here? So dupont, tomorrow night could spell your doom eh? I know that all your closest friends will pull together and try to...convict ya! Well I think that we finally fixed the broken toilet and got rid of the turds we had flushed earlier. I hate it when they don't stay down. Nice job to Joe "the sot" graham for putting the whipees in proper perspective. There are a few names I would add to that list however...maybe I'll put my own version on the web. Speaking of the web, check out the house page if you have never looked at it. If there's ever a chance that I will miss another article, you can always go back and read a past article over again for renewed enjoyment, they're all there. And that's about all I have to say about that...here's body lotion and orange juice in your eye. Peace.
Tau Kappa Epsilon
Aloha all, This is your ole' pal Dynki along with my traveling group backup singers. It seemed that the closet had a revolving door this week, evertime you'd look someone else was coming out of it. Ohhh Yeahhh, RCB, but I guess there's only two words that can describe the experience, YUM CARNATIONS. All hail the new Pylortes, Matty D. Good luck with the office, but you only have till the end of this week to fix the house. Hey New Members you know what time it is. Yes, my little moral booster for the week. Never walk with your head down, because there is so much around you you'll miss. Alright, alright enough of that. I was hoping to have a special guest writer this week, but I can't find him. I guess I'll just have to use my telepathic ablity and have Raab type through me. You know who this is! I saw my grandmother naked...you know the rest. Oh yes, the raid. Sahal discovered by the new members in the basement found dressed as a woman and seductively tied to the pole. Poleman is jealous! Nice underwear dude. New members institute 4am Tea Time Comm in the driveway, members wanted. Here's the Top Five list for this week from the far reaches of Miacornalamocha Uganda (coporate headquarters of Spam Inc.) the top five reasons why to go to the RCB 5)Ice Ice Baby...all night long! 4)Get to see Cuca after his annual shower. 3)New members get there extra fiber supplement from the carnations 2)The new king and queen and their crowns borrowed from Buckingham Palace. 1)If your date doesn't work out, there's plenty of other women to go for. Houston, this is Apollo, we have a problem...Tang is on the way. Remember always, TKE PRIDE!!!
Zeta Psi
Okay, midterm comeback...First off, an apology to all the loyal readers (didn't know there were so many people who read this damn thing)...Well, hats off to Zub and all for pulling off a successful LTI followed by a great party, silly hat style...
Most commonly heard phrase of the week, "Jesus Jabba!" and "Ow!"...speaking of being black and blue its time for the ZETE PLAYS OF THE WEEK...4. The A-Team basketball squad absolutely intimidating TKE into a no show on Thursday...3. Then it was Ryan "Just call me Spud Webb" Abraham with a great clutch steal to send the B-Ball game against Theta Chi into OT (we won't mention the final outcome though)...2. Jeff "Soft Lips" Rosse, Aaron Korth-of-ass, Dave "Don't call me Abdow" Thompson, and Mike "Mo" Olivieri, leading the bowling squad to a 22-2 record atop the standings...and finally the Mickey's Ice Player of the Week, "Bubba" Howitt, The muffin man had an amazing pin in the WPI wrestling match against USCGA to win the match...This week more intramurals and on Sunday Hockey Practice Number II...
Helpful hint for those of you who haven't figured out college yet: Teacher says:"In the last few minutes of the class I would like to quickly go over this example." Translation: "I'm going to keep you here for the next twenty minutes explaining something I will teach completely tomorrow."...
Amazing things seen this week: The pledges working on a pledge project...The downstairs freezer still filled with microwave food after a week (You really can tell that Karl is on Co-op and Jimmy is sick)...Jimmy sitting on the couch and not moving for hours at a time (well some things never change)...Me driving...
Watch the road cause the end of my reign of writing is coming...Signing Off-Jabba
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