Greek Corner
Alpha Chi Rho
START: MMMM... Bowling Fresh. Intramural Bowling Champs '96! Let's break out the kegs. But I digress. Until I saw the actual scores, I couldn't believe it. Reel in that cup boys. Now for the rest of the story.
Little chaos here and there was distributed throughout the 8 Boynton St. I was impressed by the creativeness. Keep it up - chairs in the paady room, oh the entropy. Exam week: who is going to take the snappage crown? Sullivan is who I'm puttin' my money on (Found On Road Dead).
Looks like Gramps Maraia has already left for Key West - evey time I see him, he is shoutin' "3 days 4 hours 35 mins and 4 secs" til we leave (Insert Poppish Quote here). Those EEs sure know how to have fun. Tool Boy Tanner was jammin' to Roxette last Friday (Do you have Stryper?). Loohooerser. End of C term is near.
Boxed in a little Alex It was only a ton leaning against your door. Off to Europe. You all enjoy the spring breezes. See ya all in D term!
Alpha Tau Omega
I've seen the day. Push ups and running for a female. Rachel, I definitely see the similarity. Have another Natty. The ponies ride harder than the original horseman, what happened? Slade: Run forest, Run. From last Tuesday: Ooh la te, Tela is a tool. Ooh la te, Wingate is a tool. Ooh la te, Core is cool. Damn, I just stepped on Tino. Doyle, when was the last time that Suzie, (you know the rest). I gotta get the papers, the papers. Nice Bra. Prueher admitted to his heroin addiction. Problems. Aeeeric, I'm not one of your foozball buddies. Drew, stand in the place where you live. The Brig and no swearing for lent. We'll see how long that will last. If it was me, it'd be !@#$ing over in no time. Hey Donnie, give me a caaaaaaaaaaawl. Oldie but goodie: Getting it done, Getting it done, God Almighty we are getting it done. Have a good break and God bless. We'll need it. Schef's in the house. Fresh.
Zeta Psi
The Curtain Call...As we commence todays meeting of The Fraternity of The Dukes of Hazard, we must all give each other the official hailing sign of, "Hey, Fat Ass!", to which the proper response is "Shut Up, Jimmy!" and now Brother Marshall will lead us all in the opening ode...Thanks to Fred and Ollie for the help they gave me over the last couple of terms and to all the people who threw compliments my way over the past year...
Time for chapter business...Congrats to the bowling team for a spectacular run but yet another disappointing playoff finish...Look's like its up to the hockey and softball squads...
As for House Manager...Time to invest in padded floors and walls, so that when Jimmy dives off his bed, or Korth-bum decides to slide down the stairs, or if Rosse fakes a Karate move and falls down, nobody gets seriously hurt...
The self nominated co chairs of the Jennifer Aniston Fan Club, Fred Hervey and the Muff Diver wish to announce that the weekly worshiping session shall be held immediately following every weeks episode of Friends, so they can watch a tape of the show over and over...
Ben Johnson not a Fee-Fee...Good luck to all the new officers...
Who knew we were initiating a class of sado-masochists, they all liked Hell Week so much they were back down the next day...
Words not good to here while in the house: "Uh oh, Rob's found a new game"..."Hey look, there's a waterfall in the basement"..."Dude, do you Brew?"
Quickest two ways to make all the brothers disappear..."What's that Thompson, you want to play football?"...Jamieson: "So, do you have your check?"
So after 35 Greek corners, 34 Brothers Initiated, 6 Brothers Graduating, 4 Brothers Leaving, 3 A-Team Hockey Wins, 2 Presidents, and 1 New big screen TV, I bid you adieu...Signing Off-Jabba.
Theta Chi
Well, as if there was *ever* any doubt as to who was the best fraternity on campus, it is now as clear as ever. And the chances of the Generation After Moses winning the cup is about as good as your chances of seeing a skinny lombard or a normal looking stu... Watching our opponents play was like watching a frozen block of onion rings get mutated in the fryolator, and speaking of watching the game, how about the opposition's support for themselves. With Adam Bong handin' out dirty beat downs it's a good thing the scuffle didn't escalate. Ever hear of...death of fraternity. Hey, enough about the game, let's turn our attention to the CUP. Nah, that'll be next weeks topic. Hey Hubbs have another you fu#$in lush. Last week's party was the ballz, I think we *should* change the name to the new and improved feejee island party (no fat and half the cholesterol)...why? because we can. Congrats to all new exec and great job to the ex-execs (exark? eggsart? schmegmark?). Hey listen chumps, this is late so I am AUDI....peace.
Sigma Alpha Epsilon
I'd like to start off this week by saying Watson...Wuuuuuuuuuuuuh! Stubert did you have fun on Saturday, it's just too bad your date didn't show. Hone still has one hand in his pocket and the other one waiting for the phone to ring, "I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU..." Hone you suck. Willock I heared the pledges are going to take you up on your offer...Baaah, Baaah. Phil those people you did the little dance for in the Toyota called, they want to hire you for a party. Don't worry Dannaker, Basl will be back soon.
Well, the Semi is this weekend. I'm sure we'll all have a great time. Hone will be on the phone the whole time. We get to see Glover in a suit...and boots. Noris gets to look at everyone else's girl friend. Tim wins the latest entry award on Thursday night thanks to Stubert.
Good luck to everyone on Finals. Remember the Bahamas are coming.
Sigma Pi
Story time...
Well, last Saturday was beach party, and I don't remember a thing either. But here's a few stories I've heard...
I heard Bradford College is batting a 1.000, congrads. Bret got a date with R2, and is now scarred for life.
Q: Why was Happy so sick?
A: He had a crab dinner at Beals house.
Happy must love sea-food, I wonder if he knows what that gold-fish was swimming in? Oh well, maybe that contributed to the dreaded 'boot' disease. In the tradition of Beals, Chris ran around in his birthday suit during the party. A whole case Dan? Thats got to be some kind of record. I remember Kurt at Beer-bounce, Making sure no cans got upstairs, not even a diet coke. Kurt, That's dedication. All in all, I'll bet it was great perty.
Here's a little story about Swoop, his girl, and her boyfriend. Early one morning, swoop was woken up by a loud knocking at his door... Maybe some day all the haze and fog will lift, and we can all remember what a great time we had. But before I go, I think I should tell you all the Quote of the week, curtesy of Myman, "We should drink enough beer until we're flammable", thanks Kurt.
Tau Kappa Epsilon
IIII'MMM Back, yes this is Dink along with some of my cohorts, Guido and Duckie. Are you fired up about T-K-E, well I am. So how about those yellow extension cords. Oh yes a little gleam of sunshine entered the hearts of all those taking orgo II, but I wouldn't want to be Scala after he reads those little blue evaluation sheets. This truely proves that the pen is mightier than the Orgo Professor. THERE IS A GOD, Thursday ends that song named C-term blues. They all came, they all wore TOGAS, or only a few wore TOGAS. But at any rate, the party kicked some serious, well you know the rest of the saying. And how 'bout the new Rolling Stone, Jennifer Aniston, Oohh Yeahh. Jake, Jake, Jake what did I tell you about telling people about your personal life, now everyone knows about the anal lipstick. This weeks top five list comes to us from Wyoming, R.I. The Top Five Things To Do When You Run Out Of Laundry. 5)Turn your socks inside out and wear them a second day. 4)Throw your clothes against the wall, whatever falls you can wear again. 3)Don't brush your teeth for a while so your breath smells worse than your clothes. 2)Wear your roommates clothes. 1)Wear your girlfriends clothes. Well that's it from the Dark Side. C U Next Term Suckers. TKE PRIDE!!
FIJI
For my last hurrah...First we would like to applaude our friends in red for their outstanding trickery, but good thing for the Phi Gam's I happened to have my trusty-rusty Captain Crunch De-coder ring...try this one, I HATE OXEN. Being my last GC, I can't decide if I should tell everyone how much I'm going to miss them...BEAT IT. OK, Minko, see you took my job at the produce department, you should quit sucking on those lemons though. Good job to the WPI basketball team and Lambs for this past season. A special thanks goes out to Sweet Stacy and The Diddler for giving Mans a nice set of Blue Balls. News Flash!!!!-Giorgi and Titus, you guys do live in a frat house and that does require having fun once in a while. Get this bung out of here... Swammi Says..."Zeleski, Ranucci, and Giorgi" "Stocky, cocky, and must think he's Rocky" Swammi Says..."Titus' furry friend, something you draw on, and thunder secretary" "Weasel, esile, and Diesel" Swammi Says..."Eric Pauly, shanZ' new girl, and what the amount of hair Kijak has on his head" "Bubba Gump, Burnt Stump, and a little clump" Swammi Says..."A word I made up, Kevin's favorite drink, and thanks to Zeke, half the campus' got it" "Blurpies, Slurpie's, and Herpies" Swammi Says..."What shanz wears every day, Where Titus' hand can usually be found, The backbone of philanthropy" "Blue Slacks, human cracks, and good ole max" Swammi Says..."Who Keeney pinned, Spotted in the kitchen last week, Minko's ultimate dream" "Sherry, Terri, and poppin' that cherry" Swammi Says..."What the liveouts lack, what a-team b-ball caused, and what Smitty hopes to use before break" "Devotion, a little commotion, and the ole Motion Lotion" Swammi Says..."Palmer and Seal, a morning treat, and what OB has done as President" "Puffin, muffin, and absolutely nothin'" Swammi Says..."Where shanZ and I are going, Rice's girls, and Assner" "London bound, getting around, and one fat mound" -just a note, he who busts on a brother that is out of the country is a coward!!!...Make like an EGG.
Phi Sigma Kappa
This is Fudugazi saying "Hello again". Well, what can I say? C-Term is almost over. I hope everyone out there has a good Spring Break. I think that I will be going back home to ... ah, but that would make guess my true identity too easy.
ThKind ... what more need be said? Again, of course, this was written before the party, but ... ThKind. I hope all had a good time and I want to hear lots of stories. Even those of you out there who are not fortunate enough to be members of Phi Sigma Kappa, if you have a good story from our party Friday night, relate it to any Phi Sig and he'll pass it on.
By the time this goes to press, Kenny and Dana will be done with Cyrano. Do you think this will bring them back to reality? Hey Sprout, good luck in San Francisco next term.
What will D-Term bring for Phi Sigma Kappa? Will we suffer through the 3rd Annual St. Ted's Day massacre? We can only wait and see. For now, this is Fudugazi saying, until next time ...
"There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear."-Buffalo Springfield
Give feedback: newspeak@wpi.wpi.edu
Maintained by: Troy Thompson