Greek Corner
[Editor's Note: Authors and readers of the Club and Greek Corners might be interested in reading this week's editorial, which addresses some issues and policies about this section of the newspaper.]
Alpha Tau Omega
No hot water again Arner and you die. It's simple. No questions. Public Service Announcement: Do your work parties. Very easy to do unless your a lazy piece of dung. In a whining voice: I had work to do. House Manager: Then why did you get wasted and play fooz for fourteen hours last night. Gobis, how many days straight? It's official, Schef dogs will be coming to the end of the world. Once he arrives, it's over. Old School. Nikolau and Socha lent a helping hand down at the church this past week. Rad just think MQP, IQP, Suf, and your 34 other classes will come to an end in four short weeks. God bless ya. Don't let it stop you from popping a couple down. Remember we got that invite for your TA. Update: Shea and Morin are fatter than Budha. Chad you'll thank me later, I filled out that survey for your IQP. Frosty should have died three months ago but McDonut and Lee brought him to life again after the 32 inches of snow that fell. Feta (Defintion): When a ball enters a goal at a disgusting angle or speed. Tino toss is still in. (Manolakos)
Alpha Chi Rho
In with the Spice, out with the Tricomi. Now that we are more than midway through the term, its about time to start partying it up. Everyone should have a good time with Orion and Zomething Different. E-term anyone? Despite our first offensive outburst of the season, the hockey team still lost. Alex showed his courageous play by stopping the puck with his nose. Don't worry fellas, we're still undefeated in softball. Alumni Appreciation Day went down smoothly. Tony showed us his impersonation of the "Truffle Shuffle". Even Milburn chugged one with a grad.
Formal part 2 is coming up, Night Chi Rho. Only those with dates are aloud to drink this time. Raids are for the postulants, not brothers, but it's damn funny. The white stuff provided the first Crow snowball fight, Gerard you might want to clean your windshield. Hey, who the hell was throwing eggs! Extra, extra- Tanner is still a tool.
Fortunately, our dog Tori is still OK despite her trip to hospital. Only Stew knows the "real" answer why she went there. Remember to turn off your car alarms at night, so says Brez. My apologies go out to AGD, the piano won't really get it, but somebody did offer me $20 for it (Just Kidding). AXP will return the piano to you during the summer. Lastly, there is no secret message this week, but Tanner is still a tool.
Zeta Psi
A big "Hey baby" to Helga and Bertha. Although the picture of Bobby filling out the over the shoulder boulder holder is still higher on the "chubby-o-meter." Looking through the delta books you find some interesting stuff, let's see we have.... a classic "Dumb and Dumber" picture of thompson, an after-dinner mint for people with eating disorders (picture of Zoot & Zootalie sucking face), and a bunghole load a pictures of random people wrestling. Holy#@$&, you can actually open the front door with a key now*?!
Geepers Batman! Our 20th is coming up faster and faster, like a high-speed ICE train, so get pysched. Speaking of coming up fast, so is THE party, so sell thy cups. Like playing with handcuffs? Enjoy being restrained? Throw yourself in jail. Yes, do it for charity, you know that you want to and you know that you just can't say no!
All I can say is Rob and Fred kick ass. Because that's what they did last Wednesday night vs. Phi Kappa Theta. Thanks and Happy B-day Mikey. Fisch
Lambda Chi Alpha
Howdy everyone! Pretty neat seeing LCA in the greek corner four weeks in a row huh? This week's congratulations go to Brother Bennett for his superhuman like grade on the GMATS. Congratulations to all the officers in the house too for suriviving the visit form the ELC. It wasn't that bad now, was it? LCA soccer and KAGL hockey are still undefeated and plan on keeping it that way. Thanks to all the guys that went down to the Worcester County Food Bank. Next time we'll bring our own trash bags! Keep an eye out for LCA / AGD teeter-totter a thon on the quad and at the Greendale Mall. Stop by and help out the American Diabetes Association and the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital with a donation. Make sure to take part in the scavenger hunt during Quadfest too. Good luck, cause your not getting any hints here! Finally everyone would like to wish Brother Sweet a speedy recovery. Don't laugh too hard Dave! See ya next week. Feets
Sigma Alpha Epsilon
Hey, we finally got an article printed! I hope we all had a fun Parents Day on Saturday. Pledges, good K-raids. Mr. Parker is now a permanant fixture on the wall of our favorite store (Blah 95), nice job Bast. I can't wait to see Quatto at the gong show(that's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen). Hone we're all counting on you, don't let us down, all you have to do is nothing. Hey Timmy I helped those two guys with your tire on Thursday night, they said they were going to fix it and bring it right back. Wad, the dark side is calling, it's pull is great. Dannaker that was a horrible misuse of the L-word on Wednesday night, you should be ashamed of yourself. Watching Blaster play floor hockey is the funniest thing I have ever seen, he has quite the unusual gait. Jamie, Joel's brother called, he wants to know what you and your date are doing after the prom. The murph is coming! Five Apples
Sigma Pi
Story time...
Clambake started Thursday with a few alumni who came bearing gifts. Which raises a few questions...
Is Pons really married to a pigmy? He spent a lot of time over in Africa. Will Tavares use his "can trick" to steal the 6x1x1 trophy from Kurt? Or can Kurt come up with some pretty amazing numbers to hold the record. Will Pete's uncle pick up Ev's sister again, Or will Danno pick up Pete's aunt....Again? Will the triple crown change hands? What will Ev break? Good work one-biting Rob's Easter candy. Will Happy and Beal compete for Beals house. Hey Kurt, Damien had SEVEN, but at least Al was paying attention to his. see you next Tuesday
Tau Kappa Epsilon
Yeah it's me and no I didn't forget to publish a corner last week. More than 275 words maybe, freedom of speech probably not. Let's not get into any touchy topics this week and maybe we'll get printed. To all the concerned citizens out there, thanks for your concern and the favor will be returned. On a lighter note, the new ergonomically designed sewers ruled more than ever. Of course only us elitists would know right? When faced with the possibility of actually having to do something,| there has been an overwhelming response of independants who want to volunteer for Special Olympics. Maybe someone will flame me because we actually expected some of you to back up your words. Silly frat boys. Raab experienced the extended weekend once again. I'm not sure if his purple helmeted monster did battle though, but it will leave you with a large pearl necklace that will make you feel wealthy. The game has truly proven that 'You Don't Know Jack', ask Andy to sing the songs. To Sahal, stop taking study breaks and do some work. We will frequent Eddy's Pub again without Feely's fear of the 40 year old wildebeast. Visit the 'bob' memorial located discreetly off Wachusett st. From now on the 'Bob's' shall be referred to by their proper nicknames. Excuse me for a sec, I have to take a Cuca and wipe my poleman. This is the jedi mind trick using, twinkie eatin', magic playing, foam sword weilding, hereditary alcoholic signing off -tat. 257 words count 'em!
Phi Kappa Theta
I have worked long and hard on this but finally here it is, the first anual Phi Kappa Theta Rodeo Challange. Let me first start by introducing the contestants in no particular order. Hawkins, Neelan, Chin, Green, Kerriga and Jones. I don't think that any rules have to be laid down other than if you hook up with Paps your disqualified.
Hawkins is my favorite in the contest because he has come so close already this year. He is almost guaranteed a victory once the weather clears up. Plus I hear Mario has been teaching him some tricks with ice cubes.
Newcomer Matt Jones almost got an early jump on things but was set back due to severe lacerations on his tounge. Two other newcomers Kerriga and Neelan don't present much of a threat to Hawkins but then again Neelan doesn't present much of a threat to any one. Chin and Green are both in the process of rebuilding but have put many quality hours in the weight room during the off season so either one could be the sleeper of the challange.
So my final line is Hawkins 2:1, Jones 6:1, Green 8:1, Chin 10:1, Neelan 200:1 and Kerriga 200:1.
Hey Sczcercho do something funny this week so I don't have to keep writting stupid articles.
