Always on the lookout for stuff to put in the paper, we came up with the following idea. Why not have a column entitled, "Write the Death Row Inmate"? Send us your questions and we'll see what we can do. We'll try to tie it in to WPI, too, just to add a little campus satire to the whole thing (you can never have enough campus satire). Okay, let's test-drive this new idea:
Dear Death Row Inmate,
What is the food like?
Inquisitive Student
Dear Inquititive: Well, the food isn't bad. To be honest, it's worse than DAKA which, hard as it may seem, is still possible. Hey, our beef is Grade E! At least you guys get the good stuff. Ahh, what I wouldn't do for some Grade D meat right now. Well, I'm on death row. I'll have to make that one of my requests for my last meal.
Dear Death Row Inmate,
What is it like living in jail?
Another Inquisitive Student
Dear Another. It's quite like being in Morgan: all men, nothing to do but raise hell, big open showers. So if you never have the opportunity to go to jail, at least you Morganites will know what you're missing.
As the questions get better, so will the responses. You don't really have to ask questions about death row; any topic will do. Ask all sorts of questions: silly, depressing, serious, dumb, perverted... Just keep in mind that we have to maintain some control, so if we don't like your question, tough! But we'll try to give everyone a fair chance at asking whatever is on your mind. Send questions to newspeak@wpi.edu.