As many of you read in last week's Newspeak, I was to trade my monkey for freeze pops at the fountain last Thursday night at midnight. Not one to go unprepared, I took with me a band of well-trained mercenaries (the Cookies). Upon arriving at the fountain however, we received a note saying that the deal would be postponed until the next day.
We were about to return home monkeyless when we spotted the Monkey Nappers in front of Alumni. A chase ensued in which we were able to obtain a locked safe with - we assumed - the monkey inside. After much dealing and chasing, we were able to get the Nappers to open the safe for us. Much to our surprise and dismay, only a stuffed bear was enclosed. As it turns out though, this bear was much more valuable to the Nappers than the monkey was to us. With this leverage, and a little more wrestling, we were able to negotiate a trade, monkey for bear. Simple right? Not so.
The trade was planned and the opposing parties were about to disperse for the night. A third faction emerged from the fray however. This new faction, although much smaller, had considerable negotiating power in the form of numerous freeze pops. This third faction proved to be more trouble than either the Cookies or the Nappers had anticipated. In the end the monkey was returned and all parties quieted down and called it a night.
I was relieved at the safe return of Casey, but my joy was short-lived. Three days later, the monkey mysteriously disappeared again. I don't know who has it now, but there are rumors that it has now become an object of contention between the Stoddard buildings. Who knows, in fifty years classes might end up fighting over a bronzed stuffed monkey...