The Native American story I shared and the article I wrote, "A Male Initiation Story", that appeared in last week's Newspeak has evoked quite a bit of negative and positive commentary. There are those who felt the story should not have appeared in a student newspaper. There were women who were offended as well as men. There were those who felt the Director of Student Development and Counseling is the last person from whom such a story should emanate.
There are also men and women who found the story interesting and insightful. I have had students stop by my office to tell me that groups of young men and women have been discussing the story in the hallways of the residence halls and in the food service. Others have e-mailed telling me it was an important message.
To those of you whom I offended, I sincerely apologize. I would never purposely do anything to offend this university or its population. I hold this place and our students in the highest regard.
Allow me to explain the story and my intent. Our country has a problem. Far too many of our young men treat women as toys, as objects to be had. Jung states that at the first level of male development men "see" women as only "sluts or goddesses." If older men and women do not teach young men how to see themselves and women differently they will, forever, think of women in these terms. You don't believe that? You feel that this statement is an exaggeration? Then simply take the time to look at the magazine racks at your local grocery store. On the covers are nothing but airbrushed pictures of "gorgeous" goddesses or half-dressed women. Television, movies, and so much of our media portray women in this manner. Over 30,000 porn sites fill the Internet. Young men and women are being led to believe that women are not equals and are simply sex objects. Too many young men have not been taught how to respect themselves or women.
That is what the story is all about. It is a story that is designed to be bizarre. It is meant to move your soul and your emotions. It is a story of a young man out of control. It is the story of a young man who injures women, his people and himself. It isn't until the elders, the community, get together that a solution for the problem is found and the MAN BECOMES WHOLE AGAIN. The young man is put back in his place and has learned a lesson. Hopefully that man will not rape others, the earth or his own self-esteem ever again. It is a story that, when read, evokes emotion. It is a story that needs to be considered if it is to be understood.
Why did I choose to make my point in this manner? Because when I write articles about sexual harassment or violence no one listens. No one cares. I NEVER get a response. Stories move people because they are so different, because they take time to grasp, because they are intended to move the spirit of the listener or reader. As the Director of Student Development and Counseling I feel it is my place, my responsibility, to get young people to develop and to be moved.
With that said I can only, once again, apologize to those I offended. The story probably was outside the boundaries of our cultural understanding. I can fully appreciate that. My intent was not to harm.....it was to move people to recognize and deal with the issue.
Sincerely,
Tom Balistrieri